Painful reminders

Granted I am extremely thankful for my mother today but it is just another painful reminder of my infertility.  This morning at church was the normal sermon on mothers and giving out gifts to the oldest and youngest mothers.  They also had all of the mothers stay where they were and everyone else was to go from their seats and greet all of the moms and their families.  I felt so out of place.  4 years ago I was certain that I would have been celebrating Mothers Day for at least the second time.  So instead I spent 10 minutes crying in a bathroom stall while the childrens choir sang songs about their moms.  What hurts is knowing that I was not the only one there was was hurting.  I know there were others who have faced infertility or multiple m/c.  I mean I understand why the church feels the need to celebrate Mother’s Day (even though its not necessarily tied to the church) but I just wish that there was more thought put into how it relates to ALL women.  Its not always a happy day and not everyone gets to celebrate with breakfast in bed or flowers and gifts.  There are some of us who spend the day with tears in our eyes and knots in our stomachs.  So I send hugs out to all of you who may be sharing my pain today and hope that each of you take the time to do something special for yourselves this week.  We may not all be mommies yet but we are strong and we will endure.

4 comments on “Painful reminders

  1. My Endo Journey says:

    I felt weird at church too-seems they should say something like-“thinking about all women and mothers today” or SOMETHING. I knew I wasn’t the only one there either…I wanted to find someone else and hug them!!!

    Hugs sent to you today!

  2. Rachel says:

    Oh Jamee, I’m so sorry, I prayed for you today and all my friends still waiting for their forever baby.

  3. ~Jess says:

    This mother’s day was the first time in 3 years, that I have gone to church on Mother’s Day….I thought I’d be better…it still sucked.

    I sent my pastor (who knows about our struggles) a sermon that someone else had written about Hannah. I had hoped that it would give her a bit more insight to the pain of IF and holidays. I guess it didn’t because the whole sermon was about how wonderful mother’s are and blah blah blah….never even a mention of the women who support us, but aren’t mothers, or any other females. I was really upset by that. I honestly don’t think we’re going to be going to church anymore on mother’s day or father’s day.

    I’m sorry you had to go through that *hugS*

  4. Rochelle says:

    I dreaded going to church; the worst day of the year in my opinion to go to church! But alas, I knew I needed to be there and that I needed to obey God and be there. But it was still super hard. I still balled my eyes out when they had all the mothers stand up and be clapped for. But in the prayers of the pastors every year, they always manage to bring up the other mothers who are hurting for their kids, longing to have kids of their own, or struggling in some way. This year the pastor prayed for all the moms who were standing “and all those women who wish they were standing”. I totally lost it then! I was so glad to be included, but still so very sad.

    I’m not struggling in quite the same way as you, but my arms still ache to hold a baby and my heart still longs to share that love with a little one.

    Hugs to you!


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