Back to reality

I am safely back home from our holiday ventures. We are very glad to have our own bed back (especially with the new memory foam mattress) but I think our girls were the most excited to be back home! They were worn out! But it was a great Christmas and I loved getting to see all of our family. I was esp homesick on Christmas morning as it was my first time to be away from home on Christmas day **sniff** I definitely long to be closer to my family. Maybe someday it will work out after grad school is over.

I am unfortunately back at work. While it has been unusually quiet, it has allowed me to get work done that usually gets pushed aside when everyone is here.

I had an interesting doctors appointment yesterday. Dr. H was as surprised as I was to find out that the sleep tests results pointed to sleep apnea. At first I was really upset but I’m trying to be positive. If having a CPAP machine allows me (and John) to have a good nights sleep and for me to actually have energy and a memory, it will be so worth it! Dr. H told me that she got a very nice letter from Dr. P (my new rheum) and was glad to hear that I liked him too. We also talked about my wacky cycles which is frustrating. This last cycle was 35 days but OPKs showed that I O’d on CD 14 (and I tested until it was stark white after O) which made my LP 21 days which is nuts. She says that either the tests were wrong or that I had an early m/c (even though pg tests were neg). I am going with the tests b/c I just can’t bear the thought of a m/c. But to try to regulate things and keep my sanity until IVF, I started bcp this morning which both saddens me and makes me hopeful that I can regain some sanity in the next few months by not having to wonder about ovulation, CM, or every twinge I feel. I really want to focus on my marriage as pretty much all of it has been dealing with TTTC so this is a welcome break. So here’s to freedom from IF (at least for a few months) and fun sex! 🙂

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