Why is it that as soon as you make a commitment, the Enemy decides to attack? I was so stoked and ready to go after taking the Pledge to Love Myself. I was ready for a change in perspective. More than anything I want to be a positive role model for my daughter. I want to her see her mom value herself and know without a doubt that she is worthy of love just the way she is – both by her heavenly Father and herself. I think this monthly project ties in perfectly with the Shrinkvivor challenge as I can work on being healthy inside and out. So after writing my pledge post, I was ready to go!
Then yesterday hit. A pretty major flare started to set in Saturday afternoon. It started after lunch (when I think my food somehow got cross-contaminated with gluten either by the preparers or my toddler wanting to have “bites” as she says of mommy’s food). So by the time we got back home from an afternoon out, I was feeling pretty miserable. It just went downhill from there.
So I woke up yesterday morning feeling like an elephant’s backside so I got Abby ready for church while John got dressed. She looked freaking adorable in her new FALL dress. Yes! Fall weather has arrived! I only wish that I was somewhat coherent enough at the time to take a picture. Once I got them out the door, my plan was to take some meds and crawl back in bed hoping to get some much needed sleep and pray that the throbbing in my joints would stop. That was not the case.
The Enemy thought that it was the perfect time to creep in. Instead of falling back asleep, I became overwhelmed with sadness and guilt. What kind of person was I to send off my family to church while I crawled back in bed? What kind of mother did that make me? How dare I not support my husband and be there by his side at church! How could I ever expect to be a good wife and mother if I was sick all the time? Why can’t I just suck it up and move on? All of these questions swirled in my head. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. I stared blankly at the television screen as I bit my lip to fight back the tears.
Was any of this true?
I turned on a hot shower in hopes to wash all of these feelings away. It was then that I was reminded of the commitment and pledge I had taken the day before. The light bulb came on and I began to understand the attack. It was also then that my Maker reminded me of His wonderful promises:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Today I am ready once again for battle. I realize that it will not be easy to maintain the pledge but with the promises of my Creator lifting me up, how can I not succeed?
What verses keep you going when life tries to get you down?