While I have been missing John like crazy, God has really been speaking to me in this time I have alone. He has just given me so many reminders that He is here with me all throughout this journey and all I have to do is trust Him. Isn’t that crazy? That is all He is asking and He will do the rest. True, sometimes it is easier to say it than to do it, but I am filled with such a peace knowing who is in control. And its not me! United Live has recorded a song that brings me to tears everything I hear it because its words describe everything that I am feeling. Here they are:
In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored
When You call I won’t refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise
In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days
All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forevermore
The second verse is what really gets to me. Its easy to have full faith and trust when times are easy and you’re on a mountaintop. But its during those times of chaos and confusion that its easy to question but its so fulfilling to know that even in those times–the times of sickness and infertility–that God is still Sovereign! Praise the Lord!
Last night, I taught the middle schoolers at church and we talked about spiritual gifts and took a spiritual gifts inventory. I had taken one previously but I knew for some reason that I needed to retake it last night. My top three gifts were music, discernment, and faith. I knew about the top two but I think God was using the last one as a reminder of all that He has brought me through this far and by continuing to fully trust in Him that He will carry me the rest of the way through. I have just be so full of peace that words can’t explain it!
And wouldn’t you know that it looks like we might be able to do the IUI this cycle after all! I’ve been using my CBEFM (Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor) and OPKs (Ovulation Predictor Kits) and so far there is no sign of ovulation (not a hint of second line to be seen) so it looks like it will probably be the beginning of next week before I ovulate meaning that there is a big chance that we will be able to go through with the IUI procedure! God has worked it out to have perfect timing! I am just so filled with excitement that I could pop! I can’t wait to tell John! Woo-hoo!!!!