chronic stylejust for fun

Trying Some New Makeup For Spring!

Hi, My name is Jamee and I am a beauty product junkie.

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram (which you should of course! Ha!), you might have picked up on my newfound obsession with makeup!

I think its likely that this new fascination stems from some of the self-consciousness I’ve been dealing with (makeup always fits no matter what your size) as well as having the opportunity to explore some new interests. I had always joked about going back to school for hair or makeup so who knows, maybe its a new calling 🙂

It was a happy mail weekend so I got some new makeup to play with! I have always tended to go for a darker eyeshadow look so I want to try something different and picked out some new colors for Spring! This is the new palette from BH Cosmetics called Forever Nude (ordered through Hautelook for a steal):



This palette contains six eye shadows, a highlighter, two cheek colors, and two lip colors! I have read good things but haven’t tried out this brand before so I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

A brand that I have recently discovered and have loved is ELF (which stands for Eyes Lips Face). This brand offers products at extremely affordable prices (most products run between $1-$6). You would think it would mean the products were crap but the quality is awesome! Of course there are a product here or there that stinks but overall, I have yet to try a product that I really hated. ELF sells at Target and Walgreens (and likely some other drugstores) but I do most of my shopping online for two reasons: 1) I live in the sticks and 2) Their online sales are fantastic (currently all best seller and new products are 50% off). At the last sale, I picked up some of their Baked line to try out:


Top Left to Right: Peachy Cheeky, Twinkle Pink (from Studio line, not baked), Rich Rose

Bottom Left to Right: Toasted, Enchanted, Burnt Plum, and Bark

I haven’t had a chance to play with them yet but from swatching the colors when they came in, I am very excited to try them out! It is currently in the 70s here in my part of NC today so I am beyond ready for warmer weather and new styles and makeup for Spring!

So I have two questions: 1) would you be interested in reading more makeup/style posts? and 2) are there any products or trends you looking forward to try out this Spring?

*Disclosure: This is not a sponsored post. All products were purchased on my own. The Hautelook link is a referral link but thats all. Just want to keep it real y’all 🙂

bloggingchronic illness

Am I Crazy? Am I Enough?

Welcome to Week 2 of Blogging for Endometriosis! Can I start off with some amazing news?! The Blogging for Endometriosis fundraiser has raised $100 towards our $250 goal to support the ERC in providing support, advocacy, and research resources for endometriosis! Isn’t that amazing?! I totally think we can blow our goal out of the water!

This week’s topic is to share about the effects of endometriosis on our lives beyond the physical – our relationships. So many times people only consider the physical impacts of an illness without considering how illness affects every aspect of our lives. 

Dealing with the mental effects of endometriosis has probably been the hardest thing to adjust to after my diagnosis. Don’t get me wrong, the pain can be unbearable at times and difficult to work through but I think pain can be more easily acknowledged by others whereas the mental (along with emotional, spiritual, and social) aspects of chronic illness are not validated and therefore can leave you feeling pretty isolated.

I have mentioned before that I have always been a perfectionist, almost-Type-A personality. I  like feeling in control. I like for others to be proud of me (whether it be my parents, professors, or spouse). I have always sought to be the best as possible – highest grades, first chair in orchestra, etc. I like having a list that I can easily check-off. I like saying yes to projects and feeling accomplished when they are complete. So when I was diagnosed and really started being impacted by endo on a daily basis, my ideas about what my life should be like came crashing down. I never thought that I would have six surgeries in nine years. I never thought I would have more diagnoses that I could count on one hand. Fighting for disability at 32 was not a part of my life’s plans. All of these things add up to never feeling like I am enough.

I have shared about my anxiety and the struggle to regain some kind of control of my emotions.I have written about trying to get to a point where I can mentally accept my “new normal” in life and let go of my previous life without chronic illness. Heck, that is even what I based this blog around almost seven years ago. But why can’t I just accept it once and for all? Why do I have to keep fighting?

Sometimes I really wonder if I have gone crazy. Is the pain really real or is it in my head?

Sometimes I really wonder about the fatigue I’m battling. Is it real or am I just lazy?

Sometimes I really wonder about my worth when I look at my family. Am I enough?

Sometimes I wonder about how spiritually empty I feel. Do I just not have enough faith?

I cannot count the nights I have cried myself to sleep asking myself these questions even though I know my pain and my fatigue is real. I know that my lack of healing isn’t the result of having too little faith. I know this in my head and in my heart but being the perfectionist that I am, I think the Enemy has found where I am weak and cause me to question how I view myself as well as how I think others view me.

I want to get past this. I really do. I feel like I have been in the same cycle for the last six months. I was to embrace the incredible support and unconditional love I feel from my family. I want to be able to look ahead without saying “if only..” I feel like I keep saying the same words over and over. The same struggle over and over.  I want to do more than put up a front that I’ve got it together. I want completely embody the hope I am so eager to share with others. I want to make the choice to believe that I am enough.

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chronic illness

Overcoming Self-Consciousness When Battling Endometriosis

Today kicks off week 1 of the Blogging for Endometriosis Awareness campaign! This week’s post topic is how endometriosis has affected you physically. Linkup will be live throughout the rest of the month so you can link up anytime! Before to check out posts from fellow endosisters who have linked up and share posts on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ to help spread awareness & use the tag #bloggingforendo! Don’t forget to share the word about our Blogging for Endometriosis fundraising campaign!

My journey with endometriosis started over ten years ago. Its hard to believe because it feels like it was just yesterday in some ways and it feels like it has been an eternity. Endometriosis has changed so many things about my life. I have lost so much time enduring countless surgeries and treatments, lost the ability to do some of the things I loved, lost my fertility, and lost my ability to lead the life of a “normal” 32 year old. Instead I am in the midst of filing disability.

Over the last six years of blogging, I have shared many posts about how endometriosis has affected my life physically. I have shared about the long term effects endo can have on your body and how exhausting dealing with pain on a daily basis can be. Probably one of the most popular posts I have ever written was sharing about the unspoken side effects of endometriosis over at the Fight Like A Girl Club.

One of the things I struggle with the most these days is overcoming self-consciousness and feeling insecure with the way I look. It goes deeper than worrying about exposing my scars. I feel like nothing in my body is the same anymore.

Going into menopause at the age of 26 and taking numerous hormonal treatments, my body shape has completely changed. Treatments make my weight flucuate. I carry weight in different areas than before. Between being bloated and endo/adhesion pain, it can make wearing certain types of clothes difficult. I wish overalls would come back in style so I wouldn’t have to worry about where waistbands hit in relation to my scars. Is that pathetic?

I feel like nothing is my body is working the way its supposed to. The hysterectomy was supposed to end my struggle with endometriosis and it hasn’t. My upper GI is completely paralyzed and my lower GI isn’t far behind. I feel like I’m in the cycle of taking medications to deal with side effects of the medications I need to function. There are days that the most minimal tasks can suck everything out of me. I feel like I am an 80 year old trapped in the body of a 32 year old woman.

All of these things make me feel so self conscious about my body. The way it looks. The way it functions. There are times it feels like its not even mine anymore. Maybe thats the reason why I have gotten into playing with make up recently. Makeup is fun to wear not matter what size you are. Maybe thats the reason why I have been loving having purple hair. I am trying to regain a piece of the confidence I seemed to have lost throughout the years. I am constantly reminding myself that I am wonderfully made by my Creator and that is what makes me beautiful.

I am work in progress.