just for fun

Just for Fun: 4 Things

Every once in a while I think its fun to do a blog survey if I come across one that’s cool. With this particular one you are supposed to have been tagged but I’ve always been a rule breaker so here goes! It was too fun to pass up!

4 things in my handbag:

  1. My MomAgenda – I love this thing! I don’t know how I survived without it!
  2. My wallet
  3. A paci – for a toddler who is once again teething (seriously 2 yr molars at not even 19 months?  Can’t we catch a break?)
  4. Cell phone with a game to keep said toddler happy

4 things on my desk

  1. Hand cream – the cooler weather has been brutal to my skin already
  2. Dr. Pepper or Coke – I still haven’t kicked the habit (shameful I know)
  3. Calendar w/ Abby’s pictures from the previous year (which makes me sad!)
  4. A various array of cell phones (the joy of the job)

4 things in my bedroom

  1. TV in hopes that we can enjoy adult TV instead of Nick Jr
  2. Dog beds – Charlie caught the hint, Chloe has not who insists on sleeping on the bed but at least she stays at the foot of the bed
  3. A pile of various toys that Abby carts
  4. A pile of laundry that needs to be put away but somehow manages to sit on the ottoman at the foot of the bed until Abby carts it off

4 things I have always wanted to do (but haven’t tried yet)

  1. Sky diving
  2. Drive a race car – I had the chance to win tickets to do so but instead I won a ticket to ride in the pacecar at the All-Star Race which was awesome! And makes me want to drive a race car more!
  3. Hit up the beaches of Mexico.  One day hopefully!
  4. Run a 5k (currently scheduled for Dec 11th)

4 things I enjoy very much at the moment

  1. the crisp fall weather
  2. Abby being in the “mommy phase” and always wanting to give me hugs
  3. the scent of pumpkin spice
  4. not being in school for the first time since I was 4!

4 songs I cannot get out of my  head:

  1. Anything VeggieTales. I wake up singing them.
  2. I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas
  3. The House that Built Me – Miranda Lambert
  4. Piece of Glass – Caedmon’s Call

4 things you did not know about me:

  1. I am deathly afraid of spiders. When I moved into my new office it was a spider haven and I thought I would die.
  2. My left leg is lightly shorter than my right.
  3. I spent 3 weeks as a student ambassador in New Zealand and Australia when I was 15.
  4. I am older than my husband by 19 months – I am such a cougar!

Now its your turn!  If you choose to participate, leave a link so I can come read your answers!

chronic illnessweight loss

Wednesday Check-in

No challenge to update this week so it was really REALLY tempting to skip the scale this week.  I’m officially counting myself at my goal weight.  If I can stay between 125 and 128, I am extremely happy with that! So you’ll have to check out my new bling on my weight loss/training page!

Pain has been really rough this past week. It seems to have settled right in the middle of my back.  The Walk for Diabetes this weekend probably didn’t help much, especially since Abby wanted Mommy to carry her most of the way.  Sunday night I was up half the night sick from the combination of the pain and the pain medication.  Hubs had phone in hand to call someone to watch Abby so he could take me to the ER but I talked him out of it (its not like they would have done anything anyway).  So I’m holding out to my appointment at the pain clinic.  I called yesterday to see if I could get on a cancellation list and the nurse said I should be thrilled with my current date since she is currently booking appointments in June.  That’s right – JUNE! Seriously this guy must be a miracle worker!

In the meantime, I’m feeling like I’ll never get to run again. I don’t know if I need to just push through the pain and do it or hold off.  The date for my 5k is creeping closer so I don’t know if I need to back out or what.  I guess I could always just walk it but then I feel like I’m failing. I think I just need a change in perspective.

Thankfully a new challenge is starting up next week – November 17th!  So mark your calendars people and keep an eye out at the Sisterhood for details!

So when I hopped on the scale, it read 127. Not thrilled but considering my mood for the past week I was pretty happy the damage wasn’t worse!

So here are my stats:

Starting weight: 164.4

Last week’s weigh-in: 126.4
Today’s weigh-in: 127
Change: +.06


Overall Change: -37.4

adoptionchronic illnessfaithinfertility

The Fever

Over the last week, I have had the fever . . . bad.  You know what fever I’m talking about – the baby fever. Ever since we switched out Abby’s crib for a toddler bed, I can’t get over the itch for another baby. While I enjoy watching her grow and learn each day, I am reminded of how quickly time has passed. As I watch her get excited to see babies at church, I think about how great a big sister she would be and long to give her a sibling.

If I were “normal,” we could just through caution (and contraception) to the wind and hope for the best.  You know – the old fashioned way. The fun way. The way that I know my husband would look forward to as at least it brought the promise of some action. But I’m not normal.

In addition to the fever, I’ve been having phantom PMS/period symptoms this week.  I’m not sure if scientifically there is such a thing after a hysterectomy but after the week I’ve had, I’m thinking that they need to study it if they don’t already.  I’ve had the cramps, irritability, cravings, the whole 9 yards. I could have eaten my body weight in sweets (no that wasn’t me who was eating frosting straight out of the jar – or was it?). Needlesstosay, its been a slap-in-the-face reminder that I am not normal.

Infertility has once again become a fresh wound.  Even more than the term “infertile,” “sterile” has become a word that haunts my thoughts.  I can’t break out the BBT and stalk fertilityfriend.com looking for signs of ovulation. I can no longer visit the doctor for some medications that while they turn me into a crazy lady, they at least offer the hope for conception.

Instead every morning I stare at my scar. The scar that 30 months ago rendered me permanently incapable of bearing children and reminds me every morning of that day as I get dressed for work. The scar that every morning I want to give the finger because the pain-free days it promised where a myth. The scar that throbbed as I spent an hour heaving from the pain and the side effects of the pain medication. The scar that Abby sees and asks me what it is.

Since I am not normal, the fever entails much different plans.  Exciting plans, but different nonetheless. At least we saved all of our paperwork from the first adoption so maybe it won’t take quite as long to go through the mounds of paperwork that accompany the paper-chase. Instead of counting days on an ovulation calendar, I look at the days on the calendar to calculate how long it will take to once again become “paper pregnant.”  Like my pregnant counterparts, I will spend those days praying to avoid a loss – a failed match – of which we had two our first go round. I look forward to the day we get the call about the match and the anticipation of bringing home a bundle of joy.

So while the fever brings painful reminders of the past, it also gives hope for the future. A hope that will bring a little brother or sister for Abby and will make our family of 3 a family of 4. We hope to start officially start the paperwork next Fall so until then I will focus on the preparations and count down in giddy excitement to adding a new member to our family.