chronic illnessmarriage

Interesting Week

This has been an interesting week to say the least. Work has been…well…frustrating. I have definitely had to rethink how my job and how I want to do my job. I wrote some about this earlier this week and I was forced to think about it a little more after a meeting on Thursday. Once again I am reminded that I cannot do anything about how others do their jobs or how they handle themselves. I can only be responsible for my job and how I carry myself. While I want to be assertive and speak up for myself, I do not want to become too hard or rigid. I long for that “gentle and quiet spirit” that Peter writes about. I think I have a hard time finding that balance. I felt like at the beginning of this week I had a real “I’ll show them” attitude and in the end it bit me in the butt. Now I believe for the other parties involved in the end, they will get theirs as well but it just got me in a different way on Thursday. I definitely got the hint and I hope to be a little more discerning this week.

On other fronts, I was once again let down and had to miss a fun opportunity because of my stupid illness. I had let one of my meds run out and of course had no refills let to call the pharmacy this morning so I’ve had to go without which brings about some “lovely” neurological side effects so I had to stay home. Yuck. That’s all I have to say about that.

But to end on a positive note, John and I are really enjoying having people our age at church! Last Sunday we had lunch with a couple after church and last night we met another couple for dinner and ended up hanging out until 10:30! Thank you God!!! It is so refreshing! And another positive is that John & I bought a new chair for the living room and I can’t wait to get it home! It’s called a “cuddler” but it is basically a 2 person recliner! I have a feeling I know where we’ll be spending alot of our time! I’ll post pics when it gets delivered!

Here’s to a better week!

faith

Crazy Times = New Perspective

This past week has been insane. With all of the migraine drama plus work insanity made for some really tough times. But you know, I came to a conclusion. I can let everything make me miserable (whether it be headaches or pesky coworkers) OR I can change my perspective and use the energy to make myself better. So when I got home from class, I kicked tail during my work out and I finally feel like I channelled my energy in a more positive way. For example, yesterday I got completely frustrated over a work situation and I totally let my emotions get the best of me and completely spewed this stream of not-so-nice things and felt terrible about it later. So I am really trying to learn to take a step back and collect myself before reacting. I am sure it will make me a much happier person and my work a much happier place for me to be. So as I am reflecting I am just so thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit to be such a guide and comforter when it comes to dealing with things like this. And I am so thankful that even in my screw-ups and in moments of no self-control, I serve a God who continues to pick me up and keep me continuing to grow and change. Even when I want to give up on myself, God never gives up on me and for that I am extremely grateful.

chronic illness

Update

I went to my neurologist yesterday. I am pretty sure it was a waste of time. Niether the neuro or NP could figure it out. My neuro basically said that I collapsed because I didn’t feel well. After talking to both of them, they decided to try giving my Imitrex first to see if it would help. It took the NP 5 minutes to figure out how the shot worked & then to stick me with it. It only made my headache worse. So then the neuro wanted to stick a needle in the back of my head…MY HEAD…. to see if a nerve block would work. He wasn’t even sure it would work. So obviously John & I were not going for the nerve block! So the plan was to send me home after my appointment with drugs to knock me out & give me a really deep sleep (didn’t work out quite that way) and if my headache came back then he would set me up an appointment at the hospital to get drugs through an IV. So needless to say I can feel the headache coming back already so I guess I will be spending some time at the hospital sometime today. But I absolutely refuse to see this doctor again. He is a complete idiot and jerk. He knows that I had a hysterectomy….we talked about this in the office….so as I am leaving and he is handing me my prescriptions he asked, “You aren’t planning to get pregnant anytime soon are you?” I just looked at him and said “Obviously not since I just had a HYSTERECTOMY.” The nurse at the desk was just stunned. I wanted to punch the man in the face. A-hole.