Today has just been a crappy day. For readers, I apologize for this not being a positive read. I woke up this morning and could hardly move. Every joint in my body hurt! I felt 97. But I got up anyways as best as I could and as soon as I stepped out the back door with the dogs I know why. The sheer coldness hit me in the face along with the nice cold drizzle. I thought my bones would break the five minutes I was out there. Luckily it has warmed up and the rain stopped but my body still feels the same.
I am also not in a positive state regarding IF. News like Jamie-Lynn Spears being pregnant at 16 doesn’t make it any easier. While I am looking forward to taking the next step with IF, I’m terrified that it won’t work. While we know MFI is keeping us from getting pregnant, what if my body won’t allow us to stay pregnant? What then?! I’m also terrified to look into adoption because I have seen so many sweet, loving hearts get broken by failed adoptions. I just don’t know what to do. I try to picture our lives without kids. Just John and I with our dogs. And while it seems inviting for awhile, I know it just doesn’t fit. I just don’t know. Some divine guidance would be really nice to have right about now.
This has been an absolutely crazy week! Since I last blogged, I have worked at Operations Christmas Child which is an absolute blessing that I encourage everyone to participate in! OCC works to provide a Christmas for thousands upon thousands kids around the world who may never get another gift. By someone taking the time to fill one shoebox with toys and hygienece items (which is what $10?), they are making such a difference in one child’s life. I was so touched when I left. I have felt led to commitment to filling the shoe box every time I buy a pair of shoes. Not only will it be budget friendly (if I can’t afford to fill the box, I can’t buy the shoes) but I know that God’s love will be shown to shown to a child.
In addition to that the semester is finally OVER! Woo-hoo! :::happy dance::: Finals weren’t too bad but I’m just glad its done. I’m not 2/3 of the way through! Graduation is in sight! :::happy dance some more:::
On not such a positive note, John landed in the ER this morning. He went to his parents as his grandmother (who’s 88) had surgery yesterday (she made it through beautiful–praise God!) but this morning he woke up with either food poisoning or a serious virus. He was throwing up every 10 minutes and being diabetic that can cause some major issues. So he ended up dehydrated and had to go to ER for fluids. But he is now safely back at his parents resting. I feel horrible that I am not there with him. But at least I now he is getting good care! Hopefully he should be home tomorrow!
I also got my second opinion and saw a new rheumotologist and it was great. He confirmed my fibromyalgia diagnosis but that’s not the good part. The good part was that he actually listened and made me feel so comfortable. He welcomed my questions and just gave me hope for living a fulfilling life with fibro. So I feel like pain-free days may be on the horizon!
Medusa…That is what I felt like during the sleep study! But instead of snakes, I had 8000 wires coming out of my head and every other part of my body! It took the lady 30 minutes just to hook me up. I had them on my head. My face. Up my nose. My chest. And even on my legs! Obviously, they found something. I just have to wait until the 17th to find out what! Real nice, huh?
But for now, I’ll spend the rest of the weekend studying for exams. I have a health proposal to write for PCC and tons of words to memorize for Hebrew. Oh, and I also have Operation Christmas Child tomorrow night which I am really looking foward too! It will be the exam prep that will ruin my weekend 🙁