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Wednesday Check-in: Thoughts

Its not a secret that I have really struggled this challenge. Motivation has been an issue as has pain, time, and a sick child. Nothing really has been accomplished but I can’t say that I’ve been a complete bomb either. While I’m up a couple pounds, I am well within my healthy range and I think my body is trying to settle into a “happy weight.” I wondered if 125 was too low for my menopausal self so I’m thinking that 128-130 may end up being where I settle (which is completely ok with me!).

But what I have hated about this challenge is the amount of guilt and anger I have allowed myself to feel towards myself. Seeing a shift on the scale has brought me to the point of tears and that is NOT healthy. While I need to be sure to keep up healthy habits (both food and exercise-wise), I cannot let it control me. I can’t believe I am about to say this but I actually looked up a Pro-Ana website last week – not that I have any inclination to give up food all together – but just to look for some type of tips to fend of cravings or ways to eat less. At that moment a light went off.

I need to give up check-ins for a couple weeks. I need to put the scale away and just focus on me and my family. I need to focus on my mental health as much as my physical health.

We finally found an answer to my lower back/hip pain at my doctor today. It seems that my SI joint is out of place (OUCH) so I’m going to see a chiropractor. Hopefully once that is taken care of I can finally, FINALLY get back to running!

So to my Sisters at the ‘Hood, don’t give up on me completely! I will return hopefully for the next challenge! I cannot express my gratitude enough for getting me to this point and I know your support will continue and for that I am eternally thankful.

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4 Comments

  • Reply Brooke

    *hugs* we love you! you definitely have to put your health first, especially mental health.

    February 2, 2011 at 4:25 pm
  • Reply AnnG

    Take care of your health and yourself. Those are the most important things you can do right now!! Remember that the Sisterhood will be here for you when you need us again!

    February 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm
  • Reply Figuringitallout

    Hang in there Jamee. Hope you feel better soon 🙂

    February 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm
  • Reply Thea @ Shrinking Jeans

    You know what? Sometimes taking a mental break is the best thing you can do. Focus on yourself and not on that INFERNAL number on the scale.

    And don’t worry, we’ll be here when you get back. ; )

    February 4, 2011 at 7:30 am
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