Its not a secret that I have really struggled this challenge. Motivation has been an issue as has pain, time, and a sick child. Nothing really has been accomplished but I can’t say that I’ve been a complete bomb either. While I’m up a couple pounds, I am well within my healthy range and I think my body is trying to settle into a “happy weight.” I wondered if 125 was too low for my menopausal self so I’m thinking that 128-130 may end up being where I settle (which is completely ok with me!).
But what I have hated about this challenge is the amount of guilt and anger I have allowed myself to feel towards myself. Seeing a shift on the scale has brought me to the point of tears and that is NOT healthy. While I need to be sure to keep up healthy habits (both food and exercise-wise), I cannot let it control me. I can’t believe I am about to say this but I actually looked up a Pro-Ana website last week – not that I have any inclination to give up food all together – but just to look for some type of tips to fend of cravings or ways to eat less. At that moment a light went off.
I need to give up check-ins for a couple weeks. I need to put the scale away and just focus on me and my family. I need to focus on my mental health as much as my physical health.
We finally found an answer to my lower back/hip pain at my doctor today. It seems that my SI joint is out of place (OUCH) so I’m going to see a chiropractor. Hopefully once that is taken care of I can finally, FINALLY get back to running!
So to my Sisters at the ‘Hood, don’t give up on me completely! I will return hopefully for the next challenge! I cannot express my gratitude enough for getting me to this point and I know your support will continue and for that I am eternally thankful.