bloggingchronic illness

My 13 Goals for 2018

Blog and Life Goals for 2018

Create a blogging schedule:

As I have noted many times in the past, I am a creature that thrives in structure (which doesn’t always jive with chronic illness) so as one of my first goals of 2018 I want to create a loose enough schedule in that it gives me just enough structure but also provides that bit of wiggle room that is always a necessity when it comes to living the chronic life. Tuesdays will be posts specifically about living with chronic illness which is obviously the foundation of this blog. They may pertain to certain struggles common to illnesses. They may be about new treatments on the horizon. They could even come from caregivers. Wednesdays will be Chronic Style posts. These posts will involve beauty, makeup, style, and fashion. They may include makeup tutorials or makeup tips and tricks. They may include outfits of the week or advice on how to dress both comfortable AND cute. Thursdays will be more lifestyle type posts. These posts may include DIY home projects, recipes, etc (all spoon friendly of course). They may include marriage, family, and parenting topics. This is kind of a “catch all” category. Fridays will be focused on faith and devotions. I used to have a series called “Friday Words of Faith” and these posts will be very similar in nature. They will often feature songs that speak to the heart of making the journey through life with chronic illness. They may cover tough questions such as “Where is God when I am sick?” While I am a Christian and many of the posts will be specifically Christian-based, there will also be other types of inspirational posts to help those who may not follow a particular faith tradition. And lastly, Saturdays will be for video content! Videos will not go up every week – at least in the beginning. Most of the videos will be Chronic Style related but others may be more fun, family oriented with some fun challenges or vlogs. There will also be Q&A style videos included. I know that many YouTubers create blogs as an extension of their channels but in my case, I am created video content as an extension of my blog. I do not plan to necessarily create a YouTube channel but it will basically act as a hosting for my videos. I will upload them there but will also embed the videos in posts here at A New Kind of Normal so you won’t have to visit anywhere else to be able to catch up on all the content. Wow, that was a long first goal!The other’s aren’t as long I promise!

Be more active on social media by actually having conversations! 

Does anyone else miss the days when you could post a question on Twitter and actually get an answer? Or actually receive a comment on a blog post that you worked so hard to write? Long gone are the days where social media actually seemed to be social versus a sea of ads and sponsored content (neither of those things are bad but in much needed moderation please) and these platforms don’t do you any favors by constantly changing the algorithms that seem to constantly bury any real content. I remember when I could spend hours chatting on Twitter and Facebook and making true, honest connections with others. I asked this question on Twitter the other day and I had several people respond very quickly that they missed the good ol’ days as well. I’ve decided that if you want to see something you, sometimes you need to be the change. I hope you will help change this with me by joining in! Be sure to follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram! I have a Snapchat but I can’t figure it out for the life of meand not entirely sure I actually need it. What are your thoughts on Snapchat?

Commit to sending at least two snail mail letters or cards a week.

Long before we lost the art of conversation online, we lost the ability to communicate with a good old fashioned hand written letter. Sending an email from the heart can be nice but nothing beats something hand written, am I right? Just like I am taking on the role of trying to be the change to bring back conversation online, I want to bring back the lost art of snail mail. I want to send a minimum of two letters or cards to friends and family a week. If you would like to be a part of my snail mail list, please shoot me an email! I am working on setting up a PO Box if you would like to join the movement as well and maybe want to drop me a bit of snail mail every once in awhile. I would greatly appreciate it! As soon as I have the PO Box up and running, I will have that information added to my Contact Me page.

Actually do the things that I pin on Pinterest.

 I am honestly scared to look up how many pins I have actually created across the many boards I have created on Pinterest. What is worse is knowing how few of those pins I have actually set out to accomplish. That, however, is going to change in 2018. I am starting a series called “Been There, Pinned That” where I am going to share pins that I have actually completed whether they be home projects, recipes, makeup looks, or outfits I have recreated. Ok – I finally got brave and checked out how many pins that I have saved. Are you ready for this? Drumroll please . . . 5,801. That is a lot of time spent on Pinterest saving beautiful hairstyles or lovely home decor I’ll never have. When I popped over to check my number, I did notice that Pinterest has actually added a feature to each pin to mark whether or not you have tried it! You are able to attach a photo or note! How awesome is that! That makes me even more motivated to succeed in this goal. How many pins do you have saved on Pinterest and how many have you actually done?

Work outside of the home at least one day a week. 

I am lucky enough to have a space in my home that my husband is allowing me to convert into my “Babe Cave” which will give me a place to have my makeup storage and my vanity so I have a place to sit down and get ready but it will also give me a place where I can sit down to blog, read, and hopefully film. It is currently a work in progress. My desk is pretty much set up but the rest of the room is a disaster. We are going to take the bed out of the room and put in in a futon instead which will really open up the space. I will definitely do a room tour when I am done! So, while I have this wonderful space that I can work in (in addition to working from any other room in our house), I want to get out of the house at least once a week to work to get the creative juices flowing. We used to have a little coffee shop on Main Street (I live in a quaint one stoplight town) but unfortunately it has closed down so now I need to find a new place to work! I am determined so it will be like being on a treasure hunt to find the location of the hidden fountain of creativity located somewhere in our county!

Do my hair and makeup at least 4 times a week even if I never leave the house.

I have come to the conclusion that if you want to be productive, you need to get yourself put together. Let me rephrase that. If I want to be productive – truly productive, I need to get myself put together. I have a hard time getting motivated to be creative in my Jack Skellington pajama pants, my old glasses, and a messy bun. Granted there are some days that call for my messy bun and Jack Skellington because my body has nothing to offer the world and to merely exist is about all I have in me. However on the days where I do have the spoon supply and I have some writing, filming, or creating I want to do, I need to take the time to fix my hair and put on some makeup. This year is all about reclaiming my ability to feel spunky, audacious, and fierce . Plus if I am putting on makeup but not leaving the house, that means I can play and try out the wildest, must fun colors in the palettes.

Spend at least 45 minutes of quiet time each morning. 

Mornings are often a rough time at the Miller house. None of us are morning people so there is usually a lot of grumbling and grunting versus intelligible conversation. To get my mornings off on the right start, I want to spend it with the One who created me. I want to dedicate at least 45 minutes to prayer, devotion and maybe a little music (I know I said quiet time but you know what I mean). Abby and I got a digital piano for Christmas and after I brush up on my piano skills (it has been awhile since I have played), I am hoping that I can incorporate some time for worship in with my morning routine.

Another routine I want to make a priority this year is getting physically active.

My chronic illnesses and adhesions make it difficult to be as active as I would like but they don’t make it impossible and I need to do my part to find out what those activities are that allow me to be active without turning myself into the tin man for the following week. I watched my parents struggle with their weight my entire life and I don’t want that to be the same for Abby. I want to be a positive role model and keep my weight and muscle tone in check as much as I possibly can. This morning I actually tried out a Tahitian Cardio workout and really loved it. It was a lot of fun and it made me feel really confident and sexy as I completed the workout and it was only my first try so I am really looking forward to trying it out again and if the workout can give me a body like those ladies leading it, I will power my way through it. My thick incision can run right down the middle of those six packs those ladies were sporting! LOL.

Complete the 100 Pushups, 200 Situps, & 200 Squats Challenges.

These are fun little challenges to add to your workout routine and add a little bit of fun competition with maybe your friends or loved ones. I know as a spoonie these challenges may seem like a lot but if you research the challenges, you actually work slowly to build up to those numbers and I can easily set my own pace. For example, for my first day of the Squat Challenge, I have 18 squats to perform and they are broken up into segments with rest time in between. There are many different types of apps out there for both IOS and Andriod phones as well as challenges you can find online and print off but I am using the Zen Challenge Series and I purchased the all in one bundle on iTunes to share with my husband as he is on a weight loss journey as well.

My husband and I will have a non-negotiable weekly lunch date. 

2017 was an exceptionally hard year on our marriage (you will hear a lot more about that in upcoming posts). Now, more than ever, it is important that we are very intentional in making time for each other. We are seeing a counselor who has the best name in the world – Dr. Miracle (I am totally serious) who is phenomenal and actually has a lot of experience working with chronic pain patients (back in Georgia he worked at a co-op practice where there was a pain management specialist, hiimself (a counselor), a physical therapist, and one or two other specialists of one form or another) so he has been able to add some very valuable and practice insight to help John and I on our journey of healing. In addition to committing to our “date” with Dr. Miracle, we need to commit to a weekly non-negotiable date with each other. We chose lunch because it seems to be the easiest and with the least amount of interruptions when it comes to our lives with his work in ministry and my work with multiple chronic illnesses.

In addition to dates with each other, we will have at least one “couple date” a month and I individual girl time/guy time a month. 

We are both all about holistic health and while we are working really hard to be healthy as a couple in spending a lot of time one-on-one, we also know that it is very important and healthy for us to spend time with others both as a couple and as individuals. We need to spend time with other couples for fun and fellowship but also for support. Marriage is hard and it is important to have other couples who are also in the same boat that can offer support for the day to day life of a married couple. It is also important to have individuals that you can go to for support. Sometimes there is nothing more refreshing than some quality girl time (can I get an amen?!). It is nice to have someone where you can feel like you can talk about anything and still feel loved, supported, and encouraged. So as one of the goals of 2018, we need more of both.

Complete simple mini-house projects on a  monthly basis!

We have some big projects that are taking place around the house this year such as adding a second bathroom (FINALLY! HALLELUJAH!) but there will also be smaller projects that will be done throughout the house such as the Babe Cave renovation or making over our master bedroom. I want to show off some easy DIY projects to show that we can make a space feel like it is ours and have a place where we find comfort, solace, creativity or whatever it may be. I think it is important to share those little tips, tricks, & secret finds and I look forward to sharing them with you!

Embrace my flag and wave it proudly. 

I know this statement sounds completely nutty but I promise it is not. I will go into a lot more detail in an upcoming blog post but an activity that John and I recently participated in was called The Flag Page. It is not a personality test but it helps you to see how you succeed in life, what motivates you most and how you’re different from the people close to you. It helps you to understand what you value the most about yourself such as I learned that some of the things I value the most is my creativity, being unique and marching to my own beat, and being a deep thinker. When you do The Flag Page with a loved one, it helps you better understand what motivates them and what they value the most and therefore helps take your communication to a whole other level. This is just a brief description and like I said, I will be going in depth in a post coming up very soon but as one of my goals in 2018, I most definitely plan to be proud of who I am and what I value the most instead of hiding it.

 

Do you have any goals for 2018?

Images: IvoryMix

chronic illness

Very Merry Un-Birthday To Me: Birthday Interrupted By Chronic Illness

VERY-MERRY-UNBIRTHDAY

If you have followed me for any length of time, you know that I am the type to draw out celebrating my birthday as long as possible. Not just a day but a week or a month even but not this year. I could title it, “Birthday Interrupted By Chronic Illness.” It was probably the worst birthday on record which is why its taken me so long to talk about it but instead of taking a more negative turn, in true Disney fashion, I’ve taken the liberty to hum an Alice in Wonderland tune while writing this post instead (don’t lie – its in your head now too!)

The morning of my birthday was spent in the CVS Minute Clinic where I was the first person in our area to be diagnosed with the flu since the start of the new flu year (which starts in August by the way). That wouldn’t have sucked as much if it wasn’t for the fact that my husband was in the hospital preparing to undergo surgery to remove a kidney stone and I was now unable to go see him. For countless hospital visits, John has always been by my side sleeping in those God awful chairs to be next to me and for the one time in our marriage that he is in the hospital I was helpless and couldn’t be there for him. My birthday was off to a miserable start.

When I went to the Minute Clinic, I was prepared to have an upper respiratory infection as that is where my pain was centered (it felt like barbed wire around my lungs) so I sported the face mask while I waited just in case. Once they took me in the room and the test machine beeped, they were extremely thankful that I had taken that precaution. I was sent home to be quarantined instead of having a party. Thank goodness my mom was here to save the day. She bleached and housed down the house with Lysol and bounced between caring for me, Abby, and John.

In the midst of all the flu stuff going on, I was also trying to deal with all of falling which meant having an EEG prepped with 24 hour sleep deprivation. On any of my “normal” days, its nothing for me to be up 24 hours straight since my body has seemed to have forgotten how to sleep normally but when I need to be awake 24 hours, all I wanted to do was sleep so my mom took a nap while Abby was in school and stayed up all night with me. It was like having a slumber party. I drank iced coffee and we watched ghost stories. Each show was an hour so it allowed us to count down an hour at a time.

The time for the EEG came and the test was over quickly. Once I was able to wash the electrode gunk out of my hair, I was ready to crawl into bed and sleep for days. I crawled into bed for days alright only it was because the test set off a massive migraine between the sleep deprivation and the test itself.

Finally about two weeks after my birthday, we were finally able to celebrate. My parents gave me an Ulta gift card and even with being bedbound, I had the joy of being able to shop online. Usually, I would have hit up the makeup “aisle” first but if you’ve noticed my new profile pic, I’ve finally changed my hair back dark from purple. I loved rockin’ the purple but I tried to lighten to a silvery-lilac and in the process totally fried my hair so I did a little splurging on haircare to try to nurse my tresses back to health. Luckily they had some good deals! Here are the goodies I scored:

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1- Bed Head Blow Out Golden Illuminating Shine Cream 

2- TIGI Bed Head Dirty Secret Rockaholic Dry Shampoo

3 – TIGI Catwalk Root Boost Spray

4- EVA*NYC Therapy Session Hair Mask

5- John Frieda Precision Foam Hair Color

6- John Frieda Color Refreshing Gloss

I just dug everything out of the box so I can’t give you my opinions on the products just yet except for the Therapy Session Hair Mask. I have sung its praises in a previous favorites video and when Ulta had it on sale Buy 1 Get 1 Free, it was time to stock up! I still can’t get over how delicious it smells! I purchased the John Frieda Hair Color & Refreshing Gloss on the recommendation of YouTuber Nicole Guerriero so I’ll update you on how it works! I have always loved TIGI/Bed Head products and they were running a promotion so I am especially excited to try out the illuminating shine cream. What’s even better is that with Ebates*, I earned cash back (referral link)! Holla!

So while my birthday didn’t work out exactly the way I had hoped it would, I still have so much to be thankful for. I have been blessed with another year of life. Another year to spend with my family. Another year to fall deeper in love with my husband and another year to watch my baby girl turn into a young lady who is growing so quickly but with a heart full of Christ. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

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A Sweet Letter From My Sister: A Letter of Love, Grace & Inspiration

LETTER-FROM-MY-SISTER

 

To all of your beautiful warriors.

I am deeply honored to have been asked by my sister to be a guest writer on her blog. She gave me a few possible topics that I could share about but I’m going to go a different direction.

I’m going to talk about us. Our relationship. I love my sister with all my heart and I think about her all the time. I worry about her nonstop. I get scared to death when I get a text from her or our mom/ I get scared that it may say something was dreadfully wrong. I want nothing more than for her to be healed. I’ve prayed and prayed for healing, but for some reason (beyond my earthly knowledge) this is her illness and only God can heal in His time.

I am 22 months older than Jamee which is not that far apart so we were a year apart in school and I’ve always been thankful for that. Growing up, Jamee was always the silly, goofy one and a lot more outgoing than I was. I was super shy and backwards. Almost terrified of people in some ways but thankfully, it is a trait that is not a part of my life today and none of my girls have inherited it. I was able to befriend her friends and they took me in as part of their group. Jamee and I fought a lot growing up (like most siblings do), but she really was one of my best friends.

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Sadly it took me until my late 20s to completely acknowledge our journey and understand how our relationship evolved and how we fit together as we grew older. And it was then that I apologized for every mean thing I ever said to her and our relationship has continued to grow and deepen as we get older.

I’ve always admired my sister. She has a strength and a way about her that makes her stand out. A certain charisma that draws people to her. I saw some of that light fade when illness started to take over, but she won’t back down. She fights back.

I’ve watched her get ink on her body that is permanent (I wish I was that decisive). I’ve seen her color her hair in various bold shades (both on purpose and on accident) from orange to violet to black and walk into a public space just daring someone to make a negative comment.

I have always been a people pleaser. Constantly busy trying to keep everyone happy. Even if this meant giving up my own happiness. I’ve made a lot of choices in my life basing them on the feelings of others rather than my own heart. I worry about hurting the feelings of those close to me or making someone mad at me. Constant worrying can be exhausting.

I started to feel like a coward but then I started thinking of my sister and my mood changed. I was inspired. I said to myself, no more. I’m going to be true to myself and stand up for myself. I have three beautiful little girls who look up to me. I’m their role model. Do I really want them to see a coward, or a strong, proud woman?

Thank you, Jamee. You are an inspiration to me. You are amazing and I’m so proud of you.

Love from your big sissy,

Brandy

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