The Power of a Pet

2011

There is no denying that Charlie is a very important part of my life. She’s been with me since the beginning of my illness and has been a major part in helping me keep my sanity in the midst of it. She’s been my faithful sidekick on many a road trip. She’s snuggled next to me while I’ve cried. She’s paced the halls of our home while I’ve been in the hospital. She allowed me to put a party hat on her as a distraction from the pain. All in all having Charlie in my life has been a major part of therapy for me over the last eight years of illness.

A quote I’ve read recently says, “A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, big or small, young or old. He doesn’t care if you’re not smart, not popular, not a good joke-teller, not the best athlete, nor the best-looking person. To your dog, you are the greatest, the smartest, the nicest human being who was ever born. You are his friend and protector.” Every single word of it is true.

Charlie loves every person in this family but we share a very special bond as she was my dog before we got married. If I am home she follows me wherever I go regardless of the time of day. When I get up in the morning, she lays outside the bathroom door while I get ready. If I have to get up in the middle of the night, she follows. My parents stayed here with Abby during my most recent hospital stay and they said that she was constantly restless and paced the halls until I came home. Once I was home, she relaxed and stayed beside my bed. She is my protector as I am hers.

I think there is just something calming about the presence of a pet that can be great therapy. Of course not every pet is cut out to be a therapist. Our other dog Chloe, bless her heart, definitely would not make the cut as a therapy dog. She can be really sweet but there is some annoying little dog breed mixed in with her mutthood that causes her to whine almost constantly and she will absolutely drive you bananas. I love her but holy cow, she is not a calming presence in a flare. Charlie, on the other hand, always seems to just know when I’m hurting. She knows when I need her next to the bed or when I need her head in my lap for snuggles. There have been many days that I have buried my head in her soft fur and just cried. She didn’t move a muscle. She just stayed with me as long as I needed her.

I really wish I had known more about dog therapy programs years ago when Charlie was younger and could have went through the training program with her to become a therapy dog which would allow her to visit nursing homes and hospitals to visit patients. She would have been so perfect. She’s very calm, laid back, and gentle – the qualities necessary to be a good therapy dog.

If you are considering making a dog a part of your family, here are some benefits of therapy dogs according to Eldercareabc.blog:

Calming presence. We know that petting dogs consistently lowers our blood pressure and calms our heart rates. If a person is angry, afraid or distressed, a therapy dog can be the best medicine.
Pain relief. Stroking dogs has been shown to release endorphins that have the potential to block pain!
Morale booster. Therapy dogs can help patients let go of their problems for a while, make assisted living facilities feel more like home, and bring back happy memories.

Of course these benefits do not just apply to the elderly but any patient facing an acute or chronic illness.

My suggestions for finding a perfect companion include researching breeds to find one that fits your family the best. For example, if you are looking for a calming presence a terrier might not be the best breed for you. Also, visit shelters. There are so many loving and amazing pets looking for forever homes. Websites like Petfinder.com are a great way to discover pets available for adoption in your area! Another tip is to think about the age of the dog (or cat) that you want to adopt. Do you want to go through the house-training process and will you have the energy to dedicate to a puppy? If not consider adoption an adult or even senior dog. We adopted Chloe as a puppy and I know that there is no way I would ever adopt another puppy. It suits my situation more to adopt an older dog (often they are already trained, may not be as high energy, etc). There are many things to consider in addition such as things like having space for a pet and being able to afford his or her care (food, vaccines, vet visits, etc).

I hope this post has given you some insight on my positive experience in having a pet who has unknowingly become a part of my treatment plan! Do you have a similar story to share? Have you considered adopting a pet?

Filed Under: chronic illness, health Tagged With: alternative treatments, Charlie, chronic illness, family

When Faith Is Challenged

2011

15 Comments

At one point I shared about my faith quite frequently on my blog. I looked forward to putting together a post for Friday Words of Faith. I enjoyed sharing about the things I was learning about God through my everyday experiences with illness, motherhood, and life.

If you’ve noticed, these posts have been few and far between lately. I don’t feel as though I’ve lost my faith however it has been challenged. About two years ago, I was really wrestling with how to reconcile who God is with the devestation that chronic illness can bring. Is He the cause of my illness or did He simply allow it to happen? I was not brought up in a church that supported asking questions like this so I really had to wrestle. In the end, I decided God was not the source of my suffering, however, I had the choice of how I reacted to my suffering. I could allow it to make me become bitter and angry or I could choose to grow through it and use my experience to give Him honor. It wasn’t an easy journey but I do feel like I came out on the other side a better and stronger person.

Fast-forward to the present – I still believe all these things. I really do. However I think there is a part of me that feels abandoned. I feel like I’ve tried so hard to do the right thing. We’ve tried every treatment under the sun. I’ve seen specialist after specialist and the bottom line is that I am still in pain every.single.day. I would say that I feel God has been silent but that would be a lie. The truth is lately I’ve taken very little time to listen. I’ve closed myself off and built my own little secluded island to avoid being honest with how I feel but that needs to end.

Honestly, I feel exhausted. It beyond physical fatigue. It is an exhuastion that reached down to my core emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I feel like I’m running a race with no end in sight. The only words I hear are “I’m sorry. There is nothing else we can do.”

Next to the exhaustion, I feel betrayal. I feel like my body has betrayed me in every way possible. I just turned 30 but feel much older. I feel robbed of my music and running, as well as many other things I enjoy, as my body no longer allows me to participate. I feel betrayed in that God would even allow illnesses like this to exist. Why would He allow His people to suffer? Couldn’t He at least give scientists and doctors the knowledge needed to develop a cure? I find myself listing off things in my head that I could accomplish if only I were healthy. I find myself somewhere between grief and despair but sometimes it is only when you acknowledge the darkness that you are able to see the light.

It is in this honesty that I find relief and peace. In pouring out my heart, I have created room for God to pour His Spirit in me. I realized that I do not need to know all the answers to feel the peace only He can offer. I once heard someone say, “It may not be well with my circumstances but it is well with my soul.” I just need to lean on Him and He will carry me through it. The road might be rocky and the road might be long but I have a promise that I do not have to travel it alone. It is time for me to come out of hiding and allow myself to be in His presence.

One of my favorite songs of all time is called “I Believe in Love” by Barlow Girl. I often call it my “life song” as it truly fits with where I am in life. One of the verses says, “Though I can’t see my story’s ending that doesn’t mean the dark night has no end. Its only here that I find faith and learn to trust the One who writes my days.” So here I am standing in the midst of my own personal chaos choosing to say that I believe.

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Filed Under: chronic illness, Faith, health Tagged With: chronic illness, faith

Love is the Best Medicine

2011

7 Comments

Lilkidthings

When my husband and I said our vows six and a half years ago, we did not realize that there would be more sickness than health. We also didn’t realize that we would spend our first three anniversaries either recovering from surgery or preparing for one. Chronic illness has definitely challenged our relationship as well as our faith. There are days where one or both of us are frustrated, or even angry, at our situation. We have had to relearn how to communicate. We have also had to relearn how to plan (or unplan) our schedules to accommodate flares. We have had to relearn how to make intimacy work in our relationship because of pain. We have had to change, relearn, and reevaluate many things in our lives during the last six and a half years but the one thing that has never changed is my husband’s love and support.

One of the writing prompts for this week was to write about a situation where you feel loved. Of course it would be natural to say I feel loved every day because I do. Not a day goes by where my husband doesn’t tell me that he loves me or that I am beautiful (I am a really lucky girl, I know!). But there are moments that show his love for me beyond words. Each time he alters his schedule so that he can be sure to go to my doctors’ appointment, I am reminded of his love for me. Each time he speaks up at an appointment to be my advocate, I am reminded of his concern for my well-being. Each time he reminds me that I am more than my illness, I am reminded of his commitment to our marriage.

The perfect illustration of this love and concern occurred several weeks ago. I had been back to work but a couple weeks following my surgery and I was still getting adjusted to my new treatment. I was still dealing with quite a bit of pain and work had been stressful. I was so tired – physically and mentally – so he planned an evening of relaxation. When I arrived home from work, he had candles lit in our bedroom, the covers turned down, and NCIS in the DVD player. He planned to take Abby out so I could have some quite time. Its the little moments like this that mean the world to me.

So this Thanksgiving – and everyday – I am incredibly thankful for my husband who makes me feel so loved and so cherished. We have just celebrated ten years together and I cannot wait for the years to come as I know he will be by my side!