A New Kind of Normal: Choosing Hope in Spite of Chronic Illness

May 6, 2012

Abby’s Party Day

May 6, 2012 By Jamee 1 Comment

Abby had really been looking forward to her birthday party. I had really been looking forward to her birthday party. This was the first year that she actually realized what a birthday was and what the party was about so she was really, really looking forward to it. She wanted a Tangled party so that is what we set out to do! I scoured Pinterest for ideas. We invited her friends from school and church.

Then last weekend happened and as much as I tried to fight it, we realized that a big party would not have been in the best interest for anyone. I cried and felt so guilty. I felt like a failure as a mom and worried that Abby would be so mad.

made the call to cancel her party but still have our family come to town and have a more-laid back gathering at our house.

Saturday morning came and I honestly don’t think Abby even noticed the difference. My parents, sister, and niece came down from Virginia for the weekend and John’s parents and brother came in from two hours away. It was an amazing day. To save on stress, we ordered a deli tray and a fruit tray but I made gluten-free cupcakes which turned out delicious!

I had worried that not having a big party would be sad for Abby but when I look at these pictures, I think we made the right decision:

My lesson from the weekend: Cut myself some slack. Its not the frills of the celebration that make the best memories – its the family.

Filed Under: family fun, health, motherhood Tagged With: Abby's Birthday, family, relationships, self-esteem

May 4, 2012

Fresh Start

May 4, 2012 By Jamee 5 Comments

My marathon of bowel preps is now over. Thank you Jesus! It definitely wasn’t my first rodeo as I’ve definitely known how to survive a bowel prep but being that a colonoscopy wasn’t waiting at the end made it quite different.

I would like to know who gets hired to write the labels for bowel prep kits. My BFF Mamie and I were joking on Twitter about some of the descriptions. This week’s bottle read “sparkling saline laxative” as if using the word “sparkling” would make it easier to drink. Mamie’s favorite was the brand “Go-Litely” which should have been retitled, “Go-all-day-and-all-nightly.” I think the one that really takes the cake are the barium shakes you have to drink before CT scan or upper GI which kindly read, “Pleasantly Flavored.” Whoever the jerk is that wrote that I would LOVE to treat him or her to three or four bottles and see how pleasant they find it.

But I digress.

Lately its been no secret that I haven’t been happy with my body. I busted tail in 2010 to lose close to 40 pounds. I was so proud of myself and definitely felt confident about my body for the first time in a long time.

Then 2011 happened.

It was not a good year. Pain seemed to escalate throughout the year regardless of any type of intervention we tried. Surgery did not even provide relief as we would have hoped and let’s not get started on the megace treatment.

Between the pain, inactivity, and treatments, it kills me to say that all of the weight I lost is now back and its a struggle to not hate myself for it.

So with this week’s cleanse, I’ve decided to make something positive out of it and use this as an opportunity to have a fresh start and start to make better choices about what I put in my body. The timing of the kickoff of Sharing Our Spoons is great as I’m really looking forward to having the accountability and support of some amazing ladies on this journey to regain control of my body or maybe re-lose would be the better way to think.

Either way, I’m ready to go. I just signed up for a six-month meal planning service to help me plan healthy, gluten-free and kid-friendly meals in advance instead of showing up at the house every day after work and having John and I ask each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?’ Menu planning will commence tonight and grocery shopping will take place this weekend to help us get off on the right foot!

I feel super-charged already just putting this all in writing! Who’s with me?

*P.S. The giveaways associated with the Sharing Our Spoons kick-off will run through the weekend & winners will be drawn Monday so be sure to check it out!*

Filed Under: chronic illness, health Tagged With: celiac, chronic illness, self care, self-esteem, Sharing Our Spoons

May 2, 2012

My Hospital Saga – Part 2

May 2, 2012 By Jamee 4 Comments

Yesterday I headed to Charlotte with my husband for my follow-up visit with my gastroenterologist after my weekend trip to the ER. I wasn’t able to see my primary GI doctor because they wanted me to get in as soon as possible so my appointment was set up with one of his associates so I really wasn’t sure what to expect.

Right off the bat, they ruled out pancreatitis. While I had slightly elevated levels, it was nothing close to what would indicate pancreatitis so we were able to mark that off the list. We next did a brief overview of my medical history. He immediately apologized when I told him about my journey with endo. He said that endometriosis is like the black plague for women. I have never heard a better description. That man deserves a medal.

We went over the blood work taken at the ER and compared it to my blood work done at my previous visit. My liver enzymes are a little up but not anything crazy – just something to keep an eye on. He sent me for more blood work as well as an abdominal xray and then met me back in the office. At my latest EGD, they discovered my gastroparesis. After confirming with the xray, it seems that its not only my stomach that is paralyzed but pretty much my entire GI system. This coupled with existing chronic pelvic pain (endo/adhestions/etc) was probably the source of my severe abdominal pain.

So the plan is to attempt to jump start my GI system with back-to-back bowel preps (I started the 2nd this morning). I will also start a new medicine that will try to help stimulate my system which will help the gastroparesis as well. We also dropped to the two new medications I started last week as they were likely adding to the irritation. Not sure what that will mean for my pain levels but hopefully once things get moving again I will notice a big difference!

Filed Under: chronic illness, health Tagged With: adhesions, endometriosis, gastroparesis, hospital, pain