We had the IUI this morning around 9:45am. John couldn’t be with me because of a children’s event at church and I so wish that he could have been there to hold my hand. The whole process was definitely far from comfortable! I felt like I was some sort of science experiment! My doctor’s office has had a nurse practioner student for the last couple weeks and she had never seen an insemination before so she sat in on mine. So there I am with all of my female glory on display! LOL! My doctor kept asking the nurse for various instruments and the whole time I kept thinking, “Holy cow woman! How many things are you going to stick up there??” Then she said, “Jamee, I’m sorry but you are not going to like me much right now” and then..pinch..holy moly! But the pain passed quickly at least! So within 15 mintues the whole procedure was over. But I got to lay down for another 20 minutes just for good measure. She gave me a test date of August 10th if nothing else happens before then. Do you know how far off that is? That is 18 days away! How am I going to make it?? My nerves are on edge now! Holy moly. I’m going to have to start a new hobby to keep my mind off of it! But to end with something funny, throughout the whole procedure I had Dora from Finding Nemo in my head singing “Just keep swimming….” You hear that boys?
I can’t believe how much my butt hurts! I got a shot in each hip and I am in so much pain! It hurts to sit, to climb the stairs, or to lay on my side! Sleeping should be interesting! Plus add in the fact that I am completely on edge about tomorrow–I am going to need to be medicated to get any sleep! I’m excited about tomorrow but also extremely nervous. I’m even concerned over what to wear! LOL! While there is no denying that God lined everything up perfectly this month for this IUI to take place, I am still scared of getting my hopes up only to get shot down. I have so many emotions running through my heart and my mind! Ugh…infertility is such an emotional rollercoaster. I’m not sure how much longer I can do this!
God is so absolutely amazing! There are no other words to say! I went in for an ultrasound this morning to check follicles since I haven’t ovulated yet and lo and behold! Two wonderful follicles ready to be triggered! My doctor was suprised I hadn’t ovulated yet because of the size but I know exactly why I hadn’t. God had everything lined up just perfectly for John to be back in town for this cycle to work out! I am so stinking excited right now! I even took two shots in the butt without flinching! hahaha! I am just in awe of how God does work things out in His time! Praise God!
I am SO glad that today is Friday and that I get to sleep in tomorrow (keep your fingers crossed that the puppy will too!). It definitely looks like IUI may be a go this cycle! CBEFM (Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitory) is still reading low so that’s a great sign! I told John the good news last night & he’s excited too! I am so ready to get this journey with infertility over with!!!
While I have been missing John like crazy, God has really been speaking to me in this time I have alone. He has just given me so many reminders that He is here with me all throughout this journey and all I have to do is trust Him. Isn’t that crazy? That is all He is asking and He will do the rest. True, sometimes it is easier to say it than to do it, but I am filled with such a peace knowing who is in control. And its not me! United Live has recorded a song that brings me to tears everything I hear it because its words describe everything that I am feeling. Here they are:
Ugh, I have had such a frustrating weekend! Let me start by saying that I had a wonderful time with John’s family. It was so good to see them and spend some quality time with each of them. Vickie and I did some mother/daughter bonding over shopping Saturday afternoon and here’s where it gets frustrating. I saw some of the cutest clothes already out for fall but in the back of my mind I kept asking myself, “Could I wear that if I get pregnant?” I had the same problem last fall and the fall before that. I’ve been asking myself this question for almost TWO YEARS!! I am so over it! But I am aware that I cannot put my life on hold because of infertility so I will probably be back out shopping this weekend! Hahaha! Especially since my mom will be in town 🙂
The other frustrating part of the weekend was that my pain was back full force. I have hurt so bad and it has forced me to take my prescription painkillers. I really thought that this third surgery would do the trick but I really don’t feel much of a difference and its been almost 8 weeks. I just don’t understand. I’m having to go to my general doctor at 10:30 today to be sure I don’t have an ear infection so I might ask her opinion. I just wish I could go a week without having to talk to a doctor! Is that too much to ask?
In addition, I am officially alone until Friday. John left with our high schoolers this morning to head to Charleston, SC for a mission trip. I will miss him very much but I know that they will have an AWESOME time. It just one more thing that my health as caused me to miss out on 🙁