infertility

I had a breakdown after work

It all came out of nowhere. I was checking out one of the message boards I frequest for ladies who have had success after infertility and was overcome with emotion. Not that I am not happy or ecstatic for these ladies as many of them I have shared good times and bad throughout various treatments. But it hit me hard that I will NEVER be able to share what they are now experiencing. I will never be able to post BFP! I will never get to experience the joy of seeing the heartbeat on an ultrasound for the first time. Or be holding my husband’s hand when we find out what sex our baby is. I will never have a cute baby bump or feel my child growing inside of me. It just hit me really hard today. Not that I am not thoroughly excited about adopting because I am absolutely THRILLED to start the process. I just believe that I’m still in the grieving process. I may not breakdown over it again or I may breakdown on the way home from class. I am justmoving along trusting God for my next steps.

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