Today has just been a crappy day. For readers, I apologize for this not being a positive read. I woke up this morning and could hardly move. Every joint in my body hurt! I felt 97. But I got up anyways as best as I could and as soon as I stepped out the back door with the dogs I know why. The sheer coldness hit me in the face along with the nice cold drizzle. I thought my bones would break the five minutes I was out there. Luckily it has warmed up and the rain stopped but my body still feels the same.
I am also not in a positive state regarding IF. News like Jamie-Lynn Spears being pregnant at 16 doesn’t make it any easier. While I am looking forward to taking the next step with IF, I’m terrified that it won’t work. While we know MFI is keeping us from getting pregnant, what if my body won’t allow us to stay pregnant? What then?! I’m also terrified to look into adoption because I have seen so many sweet, loving hearts get broken by failed adoptions. I just don’t know what to do. I try to picture our lives without kids. Just John and I with our dogs. And while it seems inviting for awhile, I know it just doesn’t fit. I just don’t know. Some divine guidance would be really nice to have right about now.