It would be an understatement to say that this week got off to a very rough start. Pain levels have been pretty high. Work was stressful. And to make my Monday even better (insert sarcasm) I got a call from my parents that my grandmother has had a stroke. By the time bedtime came I was physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. Yesterday was a fail on multiple levels so I’m working very hard to get regrouped today and put myself in a positive place.
I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I was making the conscious decision to fight and not let chronic illness have the best of me. This desire to fight has become even stronger when thinking about my Grandma this week. She is such a strong woman of faith and is truly a fighter. While she may not have the physical strength she used to, she makes up for it in her faith and determination. I would like to think those traits have been passed down the gene pool and I have decided that if she can be a fighter, then so can I!
In addition of choosing to fight against chronic illness, I want to regroup how I view myself. I need to make better use of my time. This blog is very important to me and you readers mean more to me than you ever know. I want to focus on taking time to write quality posts. I’ve bookmarked so many helpful posts and I need to make the time to read them and implement them.
The other way I want to regroup how I view myself is in my appearance. Its so funny that when I dropped off doing the What I Wore Wednesday posts, I quit caring how I looked. I went back to frumpy and comfortable. I think taking that time putting outfits together really helped how I felt about my body. Especially since I’ve gained weight back, I really need that extra push to actually appreciate my body versus beating myself up when I looked in the mirror. I restarted Weight Watchers today and it is really something I need to do for myself.
I also need to regroup family time. I understand that (at least for now) I am going to hurt and there may be times because of chronic illness that I absolutely will have to go to bed but I need to think of a way to spend more time with my family. Even if it means crashing on the couch so I can watch Abby play. I am so lucky to have the most wonderful husband in the world and I need to be more conscious of our time together and while we may not be able to add to the quantity of time, we can most definitely work on the quality of time we have together.
Just like my tagline states, I’m going regroup so that I may see the abundance of life that God has granted me and fight chronic illness with everything I’ve got.