That is what was written across my forehead as I pushed through yoga yesterday morning. I recently invested in some BondiBands to keep my hair back while working out and I am in love. And if you are wanting to try one out and help a great cause, check out this page! But that isn’t the point of this post.
This has been an interesting week for me as it is my first week of medical leave. I’ve been flaring so it has been all sunshine and roses (plus there was a crisis at work on Monday so I’m still dealing with some work things). One thing is for sure that I have had plenty of time to think.
I started out the week feeling weak and defeated. I felt like a fat blob the first couple days as if I was home because I was lazy. I questioned whether or not I was doing the right thing. I wondered if Abby would grow up hating that she had a sick mom.
Then I went for a walk (in the freezing cold!) and tried to put my thoughts in order. I had some of my favorite songs playing and as usual I felt inspired and reassured. My time off is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength that I know my body and want to make it better. Its not because I want to sit on the couch and eat bon-bons all day but because I want to be able to run after my daughter and play to her hearts content. I’m not staying home because I’m a bad mother but because I want to be the best mother I can be which at this point requires rest.
Its amazing the things you learn when you take the time to listen.
So very true on all fronts. You gotta heal your body so you can be the mom you want to be.
Don’t question it: medical leave is absolutely what your body needs to heal. Your child will love you no matter what.
I worry all the time that Katie will resent having a sick mom. I just try to do my best and I know you do too. It’s hard not to feel like you are failing as a mom and wife when you’re not able to take care of your family…like you think you should. Glad to know I’m not the only one out there.
My mom was diagnosed with Parkinsons when she was just 40. I don’t really remember her not being sick. Now that I’m 34 w/ fibro and I am understanding her efforts and better cherishing the memories each day.
We have limited spoons. period. Taking time off to heal and use what energy you’ve got for your daughter makes you a great mom. & will make her a great person. She will grow up with ingrained compassion and empathy for others that she would not have otherwise.