chronic illnesschronic style

Joining the HDA…

Hair Dying Anonymous.

For whatever reasons, I am addicted to dying my hair.  I have covered every spectrum of “natural” hair color including red, blonde, brown, and black and had I been in a career field that would have permitted it, I am sure that there would be some “unnatural” hair colors in there too (for example, I have a secret longing for purple hair).  After an unsuccessful attempt at home this weekend to achieve a nice deep brown, I got to thinking…why do I like changing my hair color so much?  What is it that makes me have an almost obsessive-compulsion to wind up on the hair aisle at peruse all of the many color options? Or call up my stylist?  Yes, I dye over professional color just as quickly as color in a box.  Sad I know.

So after some thinking, I came up with a short list:

  1. I get bored easy.  Simple enough.  I worry about getting bored with my blog design too after shelling out the cash.  I don’t like spending too much on bedding because sooner rather than later I’m going to get bored and want to change it.  Same goes for purses.
  2. Its a fun way to experiment.  I would like to think of myself as unique and hair color is a safe (and non-permanent) way to express myself.  I love my tattoos and would probably have a lot more but again my career field at this time isn’t necessarily welcoming.
  3. This is where it probably hits the deepest – it is something I can control.  Ok….95% of the time I can control.  I have had some really crazy outcomes when experimenting with color.  Once I tried to dye my whole head blonde (my hair was pixie length) but was in a hurry so I didn’t leave it on long enough and I looked like a copper top battery.  Seriously.  My hair was as copper as a penny.  Not a good look.  So if I even attempt to go blonde again, I definitely will leave that up to a professional.  But back to my need for control.  In living with chronic illness, I now have very few things I feel like I can control.  I have control over the choices I make in responding to my illness such as choosing to have a positive attitude and choosing to allow God to be glorified through it all.  Yet I don’t have control over when a flare decides to rear its ugly head or when extreme exhaustion hits and I have to take a day to spend in bed away from my husband and daughter.  I have no control of whether or not my disease (endo in particular) will get worse and do more damage to my body and cause me to have another surgery.  And when you are an almost-Type A  personality and perfectionist like me, you like to have to control.  Ok, you not only like to have control but you NEED to have control.  At least in some sense.  So I think that is where my “addiction” lies.  It is a part of my life that I can control and say when and how I’m gong to change it.  If I want to be a brunette this week but a blonde next week I can.  (I promise I don’t cycle through colors that quickly).

I think somewhere in each of us we feel that need for control.  I think its a part of being human.  And I think we all have our areas where we feel safe and in control.  What are yours?

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11 comments on “Joining the HDA…

  1. Sherlock says:

    I had to laugh! I also have a compulsion to color my hair often. My other control issues are changing all my website designs and updating info on those (they are academic websites for my college students). I’ve always been a control freak and now that the kids are grown, the dogs are great stand-ins!! The good thing is that the dogs do what I say for the most part and the kids rarely did 🙂

  2. Gerri says:

    Well it’s definitely NOT hair color LOL – I need a dye job SO bad but have not felt good enough to do it! I guess with me it’s trying different things to help me feel better. Got off 3 pain meds for LDN. After 3 days I’m doing ok. Wish I could afford being addicted to MASSAGES LOL – just to relax me.

    • Jamee says:

      I wish I could afford to be addicted to massages too! My husband got me an hour long massage for Mother’s Day this year and I was in heaven! If only I could have one weekly! A girl can dream right?

  3. cna training says:

    Wow this is a great resource.. I’m enjoying it.. good article

  4. Maryline says:

    Hi there Jamee —
    It’s so great to have found you. I posted right after you in the #1 task of the 31DBBB, so here I am visiting!
    I think your story is really inspiring. May I suggest condensing the short pitch? Nothing wrong with keeping your text as is for your About section, but maybe you could find a punchy line to define your blog that could bring in all the elements — your life and your fights, and definitely your sense of humor!
    Talk soon, good luck with the challenge!

  5. Maryline says:

    One more thing you might want to know, your template gets a little (a lot) scrambled when your visitors click on a post to read the complete post — the contents from all the sidebars get push down under the comments. Weird! Hope you find an easy way to fix this!
    Take care!

    • Jamee says:

      Thanks for letting me know! I am currently in the process of getting my blog redesigned so hopefully it will help that problem! We just had to modify my design as I just recently switched from blogger to wordpress! I will try to see if maybe there is something I can do in the meantime! Thanks for the heads up!

  6. Lana says:

    I absolutely know what you mean about the need for control. We cannot control illness but we can control the things we are able to. I am constantly organizing my life and updating things, even the little things, like a new picture in the kitchen or bathroom because I have control, it makes me feel I am normal. I am also a planner at my home and job which results in control issues with my husband or coworker or boss.

  7. Robin says:

    As a type 2 diabetic, I really get the need for control…. *sigh* As a runner, I find that sense of control – to some extent! A much less brave task than dying one’s hair… LOL! And I had to laugh at #3 because I find LITTLE CONTROL in dying my hair, which is why I sit impatiently in the salon chair for 2+ hours. Ugh!

    Great list! Well done on task #2 on 31DBB… I’d add a #4, though: You are brave. 🙂


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