I’m terrified of getting yet another IV (my viens are awful and it usually takes multiple tries with multiple nurses – they had to use a syringe at pre-op in order to get enough blood for the tests).
I’m terrified of needing a bowel ressection because of past issues with my bowels being attached where they weren’t supposed to.
I’m terrified of having another bad reaction to the anethesia and having to stay in the hospital longer than planned (do you know how much it hurts to throw up with a 6in abdominal incision?).
I’m terrified of them finding something unexpected like a tumor.
I’m terrified of them finding nothing and having no answers to my pain.
I’m terrified of Abby not understanding why I cannot pick her up or snuggle like she wants to and feeling hurt.
I’m terrified that this will be my 5th surgery yet will not provide any pain relief and we will be back to square one.
I’m terrified that this will be answer that we are looking for but I won’t know how to be healthy.