Having a hard day

I am still not feeling the least bit better.  To top things off I’ve got a bladder infection from the infusion I had on Wednesday and we’re sharing a cold in the household.  I can’t remember the last time I had a full meal.  When I’ve attempted it, I’ve ended up more nauseated than I started.  Someone mentioned how skinny I looked at church today (which believe me I’ve waited a long time to hear) but I wish it was because I was actually eating right and working out instead of living off crackers and Coke.  Yesterday I weighed in close to 4 pounds less than I did on Wednesday.  John is really worried.  He says that if I don’t call me doctor tomorrow, he will.  I’m not sure what I am supposed to do about it.  My appointment can’t be changed.  Dr. H. can’t fix it (she would if she could).  I just feel really defeated and angry.  I am exhausted but my to-do list is 8 miles long.  Thankfully John got Abs to lay down before he left for church so I’m going to try to lay down myself.  Sometimes having a chronic illness just gets really old . . .