chronic illness

Anxious About Reoccurrence

I am not going to lie. My anxiety is currently sky-high.

263 days ago I had emergency surgery for a small bowel obstruction caused by adhesions from my latest laparatomy for endometriosis.

Every day since I have lived in fear that I would have another.

Lately my fear has been even greater as the nausea, inability to eat, and pain that I experienced in the days and weeks leading up to my obstruction have returned. Friday I was thisclose to heading to the ER.

Prior to this obstruction experience, I was a surgery vet. The biggest anxiety I had about the whole ordeal was whether or not the nurse would be able to start an IV without resticking me a million times. Once the IV was set, I was good to go.

Not anymore. I think that everything progressed so quickly from the moment the doctor announced I needed surgery to the fact that I cannot remember the initial 72 hours post-op to having to knowing how hard the whole ordeal was on Abby has scarred me.

Another scary thought? There isn’t a darn thing I can do to prevent it from happening again. Actually because of my history, there is a likely chance that it will happen again.

Tomorrow, I see my gastroenterologist. I’m not sure what they are going to say or do but to say that I am not scared of my mind would be a lie.

If you have a moment around 3pm, please say a prayer!

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9 comments on “Anxious About Reoccurrence

  1. Diane says:

    I’m so sorry Jamee. I will be praying. Please let me know how it goes. Our God is bigger than all of this! Praying you begin to feel better and this all goes away.

    Reply
  2. Anna Popescu says:

    I’ll be praying for you, Jamee, and your family too.

    Blessings,
    ~Anna

    Reply
  3. Casey says:

    Sending lots of prayers your way. This is the tales of nightmares, especially with a little one at home. I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. xoxo

    Reply
  4. Sarah says:

    Hi Jamee

    I have had the same thing and it was very scary, in fact twice a month apart, then for a year nothing. I hope all is OK with you now. I too have been getting feelings it might happen again, have an arrangement with my surgeon where I can come straight into hospital i necessary. I had the kind where a loop twists in scar tissue, did you have that too? Sending you good wishes from UK.

    Reply
    • Jamee says:

      I had the exact thing happen! Scar tissue looped around a portion of my small bowel causing the obstruction and cutting off circulation. Like you would kink a water hose. I am definitely more worried than ever that it will happen again. GI system is having major issues on top of the pelvic/Endo/adhesion issues so I am actually meeting a surgeon for a consult on Monday!

      Reply
  5. Sarah says:

    Yes I think it is called a ‘closed loop’ onstruction- that’s what it says in my notes anyway. i am under a 6 month review with the colorectal surgeons and thinks are OK for now but I’m going to ask them about risks of recurrence next time I see them. It is really stressful isn’t it? I have a young family so worry about what might happen if it was to recur when I’m looking after them so I’m trying to put togather a plan with my GP in case of this. Also trying mindfullness course to try to stay calm with things like the NG Tube which I don’t like. Good luck at your appointment and hope it settles down.

    Reply

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