Anxious About Reoccurrence

I am not going to lie. My anxiety is currently sky-high.

263 days ago I had emergency surgery for a small bowel obstruction caused by adhesions from my latest laparatomy for endometriosis.

Every day since I have lived in fear that I would have another.

Lately my fear has been even greater as the nausea, inability to eat, and pain that I experienced in the days and weeks leading up to my obstruction have returned. Friday I was thisclose to heading to the ER.

Prior to this obstruction experience, I was a surgery vet. The biggest anxiety I had about the whole ordeal was whether or not the nurse would be able to start an IV without resticking me a million times. Once the IV was set, I was good to go.

Not anymore. I think that everything progressed so quickly from the moment the doctor announced I needed surgery to the fact that I cannot remember the initial 72 hours post-op to having to knowing how hard the whole ordeal was on Abby has scarred me.

Another scary thought? There isn’t a darn thing I can do to prevent it from happening again. Actually because of my history, there is a likely chance that it will happen again.

Tomorrow, I see my gastroenterologist. I’m not sure what they are going to say or do but to say that I am not scared of my mind would be a lie.

If you have a moment around 3pm, please say a prayer!