The last several years have definitely been a journey of learning how to love my body and myself, illnesses and all. My weight has been a source of much frustration. After fertility treatments and hitting menopause at the age of 26, my weight climbed to an all-time high. Then in 2010, with the help of the Sisterhood, I was able to shed the weight and hit my goal weight on Christmas 2010. However, having yet another surgery followed by a high dose treatment, much of the weight crept back on. I sat in bed with my husband last night crying about how I have such a hard time loving my body and feeling secure in my own skin. I know that my worth and value is based on so much more than a number on a scale. However, I also know that I am called to care for the body God has given me and that I want to be a positive role model for my daughter. My real struggle is finding the balance between the two – making healthy choices while not becoming completely obsessed with counting calories and inches.
The picture I’ve chosen to share on this post was one taken smack in the middle of my weight loss journey in 2010. I’m sharing it not only because of the size I was but how I felt.
I wasn’t at my goal weight yet but I found myself in a place where I finally felt comfortable and confident in my own skin. That is what I’m looking for. That is what I need. The song by Bethany Dillon called “Beautiful” has become my theme song.