Day 2: A photo of something you ate today
Today has been a frustrating day to say the least which started off bright and early with physical therapy. Why I chose to set up an appointment at 8am on my last day off is beyond me but I hauled myself out of bed anyway. It was an extremely painful experience although I know its a necessary one. I was referred to physical therapy to address pelvic floor issues but we haven’t even got to that part yet. My physical therapist only deals with patients with PFD so I know I am in good hands. Upon examination, she stated that my lower abdominal/pelvic muscles are extremely tight as if they were in protective mode. While the source of the pain (such as endo) may be removed, the body still thinks it needs to defend itself and locks down those muscles so we are working to get them loosened up which is proving to be a very painful experience. I wasn’t sure whether to cry or puke. I know it will get better. At least I hope it gets better.
The day got even better with a trip to the rheumatologist. I typically like my rheum. I think he knows his stuff and has a nice bedside manner. Today I wasn’t feeling the love but it wasn’t against him personally. At this point – without the results of my latest blood work – we are at a standstill of what to do next. The only thing he could do was increase one of medications in hopes that maybe provide some relief. Of course the appointment ended with the dreaded “I’m sorry. I wish we could do more” line. I was in tears by the time I reached my car. The past two weeks have probably been the most painful I have dealt with in the past 8 years – including surgery recoveries. So to be told “sorry” just wasn’t cutting it. So I drove the hour back home questioning everything. My first instinct was to come up, curl up under the covers, and hide. Actually that’s a lie. My very first instinct was to seek out the biggest milkshake I could find and then come home and hide under the covers. I fought that instinct somehow (probably thanks to yesterday’s weigh-in) and made in home where my amazing husband had one of my favorite meals waiting for me:
Scrambled eggs & toast! Its probably the healthiest of comfort foods & I will say my hubby makes a mean scrambled egg 🙂
So while the day was frustrating and I’m still unsure what the future holds, I at least have the peace of knowing I’ve got an amazing man by my side loving me through it!
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Is that raisin bread? It looks super yummy! Praying for pain relief and soon!
It is! It is Rudy’s Gluten-Free cinnamon raisin bread! Sooooo good!
I was wondering if it was raisin bread too – I LOVE raisin bread toasted with butter!
PT at 8a… wow, you’re a brave woman. They never schedule mine early due to my sleep issues, knowing that if I’ve had a bad night I won’t make it in. I did have a bad night last night but went today anyway and I’m so glad that I did. It hurts, but at least it hurts in a different kind of way. My whole body was aching before, I think due to lack of movement. Today’s at least is injury/disease-related instead of that vague all-over ‘ache’ you get when you are lying down too much.
Sending all of my thoughts your way, hon… I know this journey can be tough. Hang tight to your support system — we’ll get ya through it!
I was so excited to find this raisin bread in gluten-free as it was definitely something I missed since having to go gluten-free. Its pricey but for the taste, its worth it! The rest of my PT appointments will be at 12:30 (on my lunch break) so maybe it won’t hurt as back! I can handle the stretching and the exercises. Its just the really deep muscle work that really hurts! She basically has to go through my abdomen to get to spinal/pelvic muscles so its pretty tough, especially since everything is so tight in there!
hope today is a better one. it is for different stuff, but i LOVE physical therapy. it is ABSOLUTELY work and i can feel it during and after but i like being productive about improving things…esp when you are hearing the “sorry”s, it really helps to know you are do everything you can.
i had a doc give the “we will likely never fix you” line once and i was oddly glad. i just liked the honesty….not a GOOD answer, but a true one. i’m tempted to go into the rant that they’d have cured endo if men got it, but i’ll refrain 🙂 i do NOT have as much pain as you do, but i kind of appreciated getting a sense of what i need to mentally incorporate into my world. i have been talking to back-ies more of late and often say a similar thing….FIGHT and ASK and DEMAND every answer but also learn to do the best you can with where you are….
gentle hugs….
I like the stretching & exercises that are a part of my PT – just not the deep tissue work (which is all done by PT). I am definitely a fighter when it comes to being a advocate for my health! Just feel like like lately I’m the only one fighting and my doctors have given up. I know there comes a point where there is absolutely nothing else to try. I get that. This has been going on 8 years and pretty much we have tried every possible treatment available at least once. I just wish I was better, not for my sake alone, but for that of my family.