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Encouragement for Caregivers

WeGo Health HAWMC 2013
I am so thankful that for today’s prompt my husband graciously volunteered to share about his experience as a caregiver and offer support and encouragement for other caregivers! As we all know chronic illness affects more than just the patient! I am so thankful that God has blessed me with such a strong and tender husband, caregiver, and advocate!

 

Caregiver–it’s easy to imply what such a person does.  Or is it?

Obviously we know caregivers provide care for others (you guessed it!).  Yet it is impossible to understand what all goes into caregiving unless you are personally providing care for someone else.

When we think of caregivers, we tend to think of those who work in nursing homes, hospice care centers, hospitals, etc…  We also tend to think of elderly couples where one person’s health is in serious decline and the other must provide around the clock care.  These are all true scenarios and many others exist as well.  However, there are several circumstances in particular that I believe go overlooked.  Many involve those who care for loved ones living with chronic illnesses such as endometriosis, fibromyalgia, Chron’s, and many others.  This is obviously close to my heart because my wife lives with several chronic illnesses.  The past several years have been very challenging.  In addition to Jamee’s health struggles, we are attempting to raise an energetic three (almost four) year old.  In case you do not know, ALL three year olds are energetic.  It’s just how they are!

So if you are providing care for someone, how can you stay positive?  Healthy?  Sane?  By no means do I have caregiving perfected, but I have learned a lot over time and would like to offer you some encouragement and advice.

You have to take care of yourself

When we’re so focused on taking care of others, we tend to overlook our own well-being.  How can we care for those we love if we are not taking care of ourselves?  Depending on your situation, it may be difficult to find time for yourself and truly care for yourself.  You may be the only one providing care.  Nevertheless, sometimes we have to learn to ask for help and realize life is not meant to be lived in isolation.  Lone rangers end up dead rangers.

Make time to do things you enjoy
This continues m first point.  A part of taking care of yourself is not forgetting who you are (your likes, interests, hobbies, the things that make you feel alive).  For me this means having time (as limited as it may be) to do personal reading, to play guitar, to jam with other musicians, and so forth.  What about you?  Sometimes we end up feeling so numb to the world.  We lose interest in the things we love to do.  If we are not careful, we can end up neck-deep in depression and burnout ourselves.  Again, by taking care of ourselves we are able to better care for those we love.

Talk to a mentor/counselor frequently
I am not ashamed to tell you that once a week, I speak with a counselor.  I am blessed because I live within a mile of Gardner-Webb University (where my wife and I attended undergrad and divinity school).  As an alumnus of GWU, I can speak with a counselor free of charge.  I realize not all people have this luxury.  If you can not afford to talk with a counselor, make sure you are talking with a trusted mentor.  This needs to be someone who you can say whatever you want to say and whatever you need to say to express your frustrations, disappointments, victories, losses, ups, downs, and so forth.  The human body is not meant to hold in certain amounts of grief/pain/loss.

Lean back on your faith
I am not sure about your personal beliefs, but the main way I pull through as a caregiver is plain and simple: the love of Jesus Christ.  I personally believe that God is love (see 1 John 3).  I believe we do not understand what love truly is until we have a relationship with God who after all, IS LOVE.  I do not possess within me the strength, love, patience, and grace needed to care for my wife.  However, Christ does.  By staying connected to Him, I learn how to love as He loves, serve as He serves, encourage as He encourages, and so on.  It is only through my relationship with Christ that I am able to truly love and care for my wife.

I hope some of this helps.  Again, all of this is easy to type, but hard to live out every single minute of the day.  Hang in there.  Do not lose hope.  Cling to the love of God.

God always ~ John

When a loved one is ill
What encouragement do you have to offer caregivers?
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Wordless Wednesday: My Journey

We'd Never See the Stars

source

You’ll never be alone – when darkness comes, I’ll light the night with stars ~ “Whispers in the Dark” Skillet

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Changing the World Through Fashion

I am very excited to introduce today’s guest writer Emily from Scribbles From Emily! Emily passionately believes in the power of words, and hopes to encourage and inspire with the ones she writes. She blogs at Scribbles From Emily about finding the beauty in every day. I was completely inspired by her series on ethical fashion and when I was led to post about human trafficking and the way I shop, I knew for sure I had to ask her to guest post and share her knowledge! Be sure to stop by her blog and say hello! 

I believe that most of us want to change the world. On some level, we want to leave a mark on history. We want to be remembered as someone who truly made a difference. But when we look at the problems in the world, we’re quickly overwhelmed by the magnitude of the issues, issues like the orphan crisis, poverty, and human trafficking. Change looks completely impossible for all but the activist types, those people who have given their lives to working in the slums of Africa or the Amazon jungle. After all, how much can ordinary woman with things like family, jobs, and busy schedules do?

The first time I heard of human trafficking, also known as modern day slavery, I was in high school, researching for an essay about “problems in our world.” Unlike I had previous thought, slavery was alive and well. In fact, there are more slaves today than at any time in history. Some estimate the number of those enslaved is around 27,000,000. That includes forced labor, sex slavery, bonded labor, involuntary domestic servitude, forced child labor, child soldiers, and child sex trafficking.

For years, I felt powerless to help. Then last fall, through God working on my heart, I began becoming a conscious consumer, thinking about what and how much I buy, and whom I buy from. I realized that through my ignorance, I was unknowingly supporting companies who make their money by exploiting those most vulnerable through forced labor, child labor, debt bondage, and other means of manipulation.  By supplying demand, I was contributing to the system that sustains the abhorrent practice of human slavery.

I also discovered something that surprised me: it’s not that hard to make a difference.

You see, unlike the fashions of the past that evolved slowly, today’s industry revolves around “fast fashion,” frequently changing styles that consumers are encouraged to purchase every season. Because the styles are constantly changing, companies seek to manufacture their clothing for less. As a result, they source their materials and labor overseas, often in questionable circumstances.

However, there are a few companies bucking the industry trends. According to an exhibit at the Victoria and Albert Museum, “Ethical Fashion aims to address the problems it sees with the way the fashion industry currently operates, such as exploitative labor, environmental damage, the use of hazardous chemicals, waste, and animal cruelty.” There are six genres of ethically made clothing that address those specific issues:

  • Vegan: not made with any animal products, such as leather
  • Ethically produced: includes fair trade and organic certifications, clothing made with respect for people and the environment
  • Craft/Artisan: skillfully handmade products
  • Custom: made-to-order, “slow” fashion
  • Recycled: made from existing materials, often former garments reworked into new ones
  • Vintage/Second hand: using what’s already in the system, and supporting local communities and businesses

 

By shopping with ethical fashion companies, every dollar spent sends a message. A vote, if you will, for change. When we don’t buy what they’re selling, it speaks loud and clear that unethical sourcing or manufacturing is not ok, and when we give our business to ethical companies, women are able to escape prostitution, parents can send their kids to school, and local economies improve.

Here’s four ways you can make a difference with your shopping and support ethical fashion: 

Buy Fair Trade. You might have heard of fair trade coffee or chocolate before, but did you know that clothing, textiles, etcetera can also be fair trade certified? According to Fair Trade USA, “Fair Trade goods are just that. Fair. From far-away farms to your shopping cart, products that bear our logo come from farmers and workers who are justly compensated. We help farmers in developing countries build sustainable businesses that positively influence their communities. We’re a nonprofit, but we don’t do charity. Instead, we teach disadvantaged communities how to use the free market to their advantage. With Fair Trade USA, the money you spend on day-to-day goods can improve an entire community’s day-to-day lives.”

How do you know if an item is fair trade certified? It should have the fair trade logo on it somewhere, or on their company website.

Shopping to Change the World

Buy Better. Not all companies that want to pay fair wages can afford the certification process, or want to deal with the lengthy process it requires. Although these companies aren’t fair trade certified, they still follow ethical practices by revealing their sources and following up with suppliers and manufacturers.

An invaluable tool to compare brands is the Free2Work app and website. As part of the Not For Sale organization, Free2Work evaluates brands based on several criteria and given a letter grade. Practically speaking, this makes it easy to pick better options. I can’t afford to replace my closet overnight, and pitching all clothing I’ve already bought doesn’t really help anyone. But, by using the Free2Work website, I’ve been able to choose better options going forward.

Maybe you can’t afford a pair of $100 jeans from PrAna. Instead of buying a $20 pair from Walmart, with a Free2Work grade of  D+, you could buy one from Old Navy, which has a solid grade of B. Or, you get a pair of PrAna jeans for less using the next tip.

Fair Trade Shopping - Nooday Artisans

Photo – Noonday Collections 

Buy Thrift and Used. Shopping clothing that’s already out in the system is a form of recycling. Plus, many thrift stores, like Goodwill and Savers, give back to their local communities, so it’s a win-win! You could also host a closet swap with your friends, and shop each other’s unwanted clothes. If shopping on eBay or thrift stores intimidates you, there’s loads of excellent information on the subject that will give you the confidence to give it a try. Here’s a round up post of some of my favorite thrifting tutorials from around the web.

 

Buy Less to Buy Better. Yes, it’s on sale, and it’s cute. But do I really need it? After my experiment of wearing only ten items for an entire month, I realized that I “need” a lot less than I thought! By cutting down on impulse buys, now I can afford those pricier fair trade items.

fair trade shopping

Photo – Emily of Scribbles from Emily

I know I’ve just given you a dump truck of information, but if you’d like to learn more, I recommend the resources from Stop Traffick Fashion, What Is Human Trafficking? And What Is Ethical Fashion? Setting captives free really can be as simple as changing your shopping habits.

Have you heard of human trafficking or ethical fashion before? If you have any questions, ask away in the comments below!

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