Abby’s Two Moms

May 12, 2012

Abby’s Two Moms

May 12, 2012 By Jamee 2 Comments

In many households, Mother’s Day includes breakfast in bed, flowers, and maybe a gift or two. Not that any of those things won’t be happening in our household (hint, hint, hint) but I cannot celebrate the joy of being Abby’s mother without first acknowledging her birthmother, L. I cannot celebrate my love and joy without taking a moment to pause and know that when her children wish her “Happy Mother’s Day!” tomorrow that one child she carried for nine months will not be there. Even as we try to celebrate the miracle of adoption each and every day, it can be easy to overlook the pain that accompanies the beauty.

So right now I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to L! She is an amazing woman who loves her children, all of them, and it was through our adoption journey together that I was able to see selfless love played out firsthand. The choice that a birthmother makes to place her child to allow him or her to have a better life is the most selfless thing a person can do, placing all needs before her own. I cannot imagine the difficulty in making such a decision and am in awe of her strength and courage to do so. Without her, I would not have the opportunity and the privilege of celebrating Mother’s Day on Sunday.

Thank you, L, for everything. We love you and pray for you daily!

In honor of L, I want to share this beautiful video called The Agape Project:

For more about the Agape Project click here!

This is one of my favorite adoption poems and have included it in Abby’s lifebook:

Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.
The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.

As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.

One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.

They looked into each others eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.

They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.

So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.

And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.

And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.

Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you.

Source

Filed Under: adoption, Faith Tagged With: Adoption, birthmother, family

Apr 19, 2012

Choices

April 19, 2012 By Jamee 6 Comments

I’ve been quiet this week both in real like and online. I have tweeted some but I just haven’t had much to say.

Its been one of those weeks where you go into survival mode and do whatever the bare minimum to keep your head above water.

Pain has been harder to control. The nausea has seriously become completely overwhelming and currently they are not exactly sure how we can correct it.

In addition to the physical stress, emotionally I feel like the best thing for me to do is hide. I mentioned this once on twitter this week but the guilt of being a sick mom and wife as been difficult to shake for whatever reason. I also had a surge of infertility grief which hit me out of nowhere.

I also got in a fight with my mom this week which never happens. She is totally my best friend outside of my husband. I mean we get on each others nerves and get frustrated with each other but this one was big. She was trying to be funny. I was in a lot of pain and battling the guilt. Those two things didn’t mix well. There were a lot of tears and even a hangup but by the end of the day we had it figured out. Thankfully. So we are back to being BFFs.

With all of this going on, I have felt like I didn’t have anything to offer. The last thing I want to spew negativity through out the blogosphere (even though I know those posts are sometimes needed) but every time I sat down to write I looked at my new tagline – choosing hope in spite of chronic illness. This past week, I wasn’t choosing hope. I was choosing despair and by making that choice I was allowing myself to sit in a dark place. And since my goal with this blog is to be authentic I didn’t want to put on a front like I had it all together when I know inside I was crying.

Thankfully, I feel like I can see light at the end of the tunnel again. The pain is still there. The grief is still there. The only difference is the choice that I have made – choosing hope. I am choosing hope tonight at 9:13pm in NC and I know tomorrow when my alarm goes off I will once again have to make a choice. Making the choice to have hope doesn’t mean I know all the answers or that I know my future but choosing hope means I know my Creator and by knowing His character, I’ll be ok.

Filed Under: chronic illness, Faith, health Tagged With: choosing hope, faith, family, relationships

Apr 5, 2012

HAWMC Day 5: The Renewal of Spring

April 5, 2012 By Jamee 2 Comments

Today’s writing assignment is to head to flickr.com/explore and select a picture at random that speaks to you.

This one definitely caught my attention, especially as I have thought about Easter.

via

I have always loved spring. Birds are singing. Flowers are beginning to bloom. Buds begin appearing on trees. The proof of new life is all around us. I think the connection between faith and nature is so powerful when you stop and think about it. In winter, everything seems empty, dark, and almost lifeless however with the change of the season everything has a chance to be reborn.

I think to truly appreciate the beauty of spring, we must acknowledge the barrenness of winter. I think the same is true with the celebration of Easter. Easter brings the promise of new life through the miracle of the resurrection. What a beautiful day! As believers we put a lot of focus on Easter Sunday (which is not necessarily a bad thing) but if we don’t stop to consider the dark that came before the dawn of the resurrection I think we are missing the point. I love that my church has a service on Good Friday. Its not a service where you come in a pretty dress or singing “Up From The Grave He Arose.” It is a service to revisit the pain and the sacrifice that Christ endured for each and every one of us.

When we allow ourselves time to pray and medicate on the events that transpired when Christ died on the cross, the even more beautiful our appreciation of the Resurrection! What once was dead is now alive! Through the Resurrection, Christ conquered death and paved the way for our salvation. Just as the trees in spring, we have the opportunity to be reborn. We can have new and abundant life and that is something to be celebrated!

You may be asking yourself why I’m talking about Easter when I’m working on a Health Activist Writer’s challenge since I’m talking about my faith instead of my health. The reason for that is because I’ve realized they go hand in hand. Just as spring brings new life to nature, I have a new life (and a new body) awaiting me in heaven. But even now while I’m still on earth, the Spirit continually breathe new life into me as long as I’m open to it and it is through that renewal of faith and spirit that I feel like I can keep pressing forward in battling chronic illness and continue to choose hope.

Filed Under: blogging, chronic illness, Faith Tagged With: chronic illness, Easter, faith, HAWMC