adoptioninfertility

When dreams come crashing down

The last week has been a complete blur. If you want the full story, check out my adoption blog but to make a long story short, we have had another failed adoption match. We actually had 3 days of parenthood before the adoption papers were revoked. All of the highs of being called “mommy” have now come crashing down. So all of the fatigue and emotions from the last 5 days has set in. I feel empty inside. I feel like I’ve lost a child yet I’ve got no tangible way to have closure. I know the next several days as people begin to find out about our failed match that I will here “This must not have been the child meant for you” and “God has a plan” and “There is something better for you out there” I will have to restrain myself from punching someone in the face. I completely believe that God has a plan and that His plan includes John & I becoming parents (and staying parents) but I wish people would avoid the sunday school answers for awhile. So I think I plan on hibernating the rest of the day. Or maybe I will head out after awhile and try some retail therapy. Or maybe I call get my doctor to call me in some prozac.

Oh and maybe I can call Gerber and have them quite showing that heartbreaking commercial for awhile. Infertility can totally take a hike.

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