I feel like crawling in a hole

I’m just having a very depressing start to the week. I’m so ready for this semester to be over! I just don’t know what steps to take next. I am still really struggling coming to terms with infertility. While I want to adopt, my heart is just not there yet. Unfortunately, my husband’s is. So we aren’t on the same page and niether of us seem willing to budge. I want to give IVF a shot and have found a shared risk program in Charlotte that is affordable (well as affordable as adoption would be). But he is not open to discussing IVF but would rather put money towards adoption since it is a “sure” thing. I used to think the same way but I know two sweet and wonderful people who in the midst of adoption (one was matched while the other was waiting) and the adoption agency lost its license so now no adoptions will be taking place. So I guess I no longer see it as a “sure” thing but just as risky. I am just so lost. I want a new life.

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