2 years ago I found myself in a dark place.
2 years ago my heart was shattered into a million pieces.
2 years ago I felt that my dream of motherhood would never come true.
2 years ago I honestly wasn’t sure if I could love again.
I was hurt. I was angry. I was grieving. I was bitter. I had every emotion possible circulating through my body. This time two years ago I was still reeling from our loss of Mia. It was a pain like I had never experienced. My faith was put to the test. How could a God of Love allow such hurt? Was this His plan or her choice?
My instincts were to shut down. Cut everyone off who had the potential to hurt me, including God. I just didn’t understand how He could bring good out of such a painful and dark situation.
But He did.
It would take 6 weeks but little did we know that His glory would be revealed on April 30th when we were matched with our miracle Abby. It was so hard to stay optimistic during our wait but we clung to His promise of hope and on June 22, 2009 we brought our little girl home and our family became whole.
We will never forget Mia as she is forever in our hearts wherever she is and thankful that she helped to teach us that even when things aren’t what that should be or what we had planned, that our God is always in control and one day we will taste the sweetness of the plans He has for us.
Our God in In Control by Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
This is how it is
And our God is in control
This is not how it will be
When we finally will see
We’ll see with our own eyes
He was always in control
And we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we’re waiting for that day
This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control
Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That our God is in control
And we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we’ll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we’re waiting for that day
We’re waiting for that day
We’ll keep on waiting for that day
And we will rise
Our God is in control
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Thankful that God healed your heart with Abby and the joy she brought.
I can’t claim to understand your pain, but I know that we serve a God who will help us through it all.
That is an amazing story! I got chills from reading it. I’m happy you found sunshine through the darkness.
Just beautiful! Thanks so much for visiting on my SITS day!
So true, He is in control. We need to have faith that he sees the greater plan for us.