We had a beautiful service last night in church. It was called the “Ceremony of Hope” and was a special service to raise money for Relay for Life. Several people performed special music and members who are cancer survivors shared their testimonies. It was so amazing. I’ll be honest that one of my biggest fears at every blood test and every surgery is that they will find cancer. I think that part of it comes from the fact that since my diagnosis I have never felt “good.” I may see a temporary improvement but I still never feel good. So I’m always afraid that the doctors have missed something. But God definitely gave me a peace last night that even if they would find cancer at my surgery May 30th, I have a peace to know that God is still on the throne and He is still in control. It was such an amazing feeling! And I am thankful that regardless of what I have gone through thus far, I am lucky in that that is one hurdle I have not had to cross. During the special music, one woman sang a song I had never heard before. It is called “Broken into Beautiful” and is performed by Mandisa. These words truly touched my heart. It reminded me that God has turned my illness into an opportunity to share my faith and testimony and He has turned my infertility into an opportunity to give an orphan a home. He has taken what I considered broken and turned it into something amazing and beautiful. I am so thankful of the ways God has continued to reveal Himself to me in my life these past few days. I mean He reveals Himself everyday but I guess the better thing to say is that I have been more attentive to Him speaking. These are the lyrics and I pray that they touch your heart as they have touched mine:
Beautiful Ceremony
Broken Into BeautifulGwen Smith/Sue Smith/Chad Cates
She’s smiling on the outside
But she’s hurting on the inside
It’s getting hard just living anymore
And the shadows she has clung to
Painful things that she has been through
Have left her feeling worthless, Lord…
butYou change worthless into precious
Guilty to forgiven
Hungry into satisfied
Empty into full
All the lies are shattered
And we believe we matter
When You change broken into beautiful
We live with accusations
Sometimes heavy expectations
That tell us we can never measure up
And yet You repeat with mercy
That in your eyes we are worthy
At last we see how much we’re loved cause
Chorus
Though we can’t see how we can stand before you Lord
And feel valued, priceless and adored