I am a country girl with a rocker heart with a passion for Jesus, makeup, Disney and for finding a way for those with chronic illness to lead full and joyful lives. I am also a proud YPW (youth pastor’s wife) and mama to an amazing and compassionate little girl through the miracle of adoption. I love rocking purple hair and tattoos but also love riding horses and wide open spaces. With God’s strength, I battle endometriosis, fibromyalgia, gastroparesis, Celiac disease, chronic migraines, postural hypotension, severe anxiety, and a smattering of symptoms no one has quite been able to explain. Despite it all, I refuse to give up hope and vow to live boldly with every breath I take.
about a new kind of normal
Living boldly means standing up for what you believe in, loving all of yourself, and finding a way to leave the world better than you found it. My favorite song lyric by the amazing Christian rock band Skillet states:
When darkness comes, I’ll light the night with stars.
Even at the darkest moments of our lives, God places beacons of light and hope all around us to remind us of His presence and His purpose in our lives. My goal is that A New Kind of Normal can be one of those beacons.
Another favorite lyric by a band named Veredia states:
In a sea of a million stars, still the sky was dark so You dreamed of me.
In all of God”s glorious creation, there is only one you. It blows my mind that in all of God’s infinite glory and beauty, before I was born, He felt that something was missing and He created me. The same with you. He created each of us so special and unique. When the world looks at us, they may see that we are somehow flawed yet when He looks at us, He sees beauty and wonder. Just as I marvel at a night sky full of shining stars and sometimes lose my breath trying to take it all in, He looks at me, at you, at all of us the same way. If I had never gotten sick, I don’t think I would have the same faith and understanding of who God is and how He loves.
We are perfectly imperfect. Every scar is a sign of courage and fortitude. Every challenge is an opportunity for a battle to be won. God loves us so furiously and with such passion that He gave us His all. He gave us Jesus. It is through that that we can be confident in our beauty and uniqueness. We don’t have to strive to be anyone but ourselves. It is when we accept this love that we are able to turn around and love others with a furious love. And that my friends, is a love that will change the world.
With that acceptance that comes with living boldly and loving furiously, we can learn to live fierce and confident. We can hold our heads high and embrace who we are created to be, chronic illness and all. We can rock whatever hair color, makeup look, or outfit choice because we are beautiful. We are strong. We are fierce. We are total rockstars and badasses (Yes, I am a YPW and use the word badass. Jesus was a total badass and sometimes we need to be one too). It took me a long time after I got sick to not look at my body as an enemy so I had to change my way of thinking. Out of this change, the Chronic Style series was born. Skillet has recently released a new album (and it is AMAZING) but the first song that grabbed my attention was called Stars. The chorus states:
If you can hold the stars in place, You can hold my heart the same. Whenever I fall away, whenever I start to break. So here I am, lifting up my heart to the One who holds the stars.
I know that stars has become a recurring theme in my life and learning to love and accept myself the way God created me. Some days are harder than others but every day we must make a choice.
what we can do to make a difference
When we choose to live boldly, love furiously, and feel fierce, we can grasp onto every shred of hope and squeeze every ounce of joy out of every minute of our lives. We can pour out our hearts in times of despair and know that our words do not fall on deaf ears. We can reach out to others and show them love, grace, and acceptance like no one else because that love, grace, and acceptance was first given to us. Together we can leave the world better than we found it because together we can raise our voices to call for awareness, education, and resources for those battling chronic illness. Together we can stamp out ignorance towards invisible illnesses and those who “don’t look sick.”
Together we can live boldly, love furiously, and feel fierce.
Will you join me?
If you are new to A New Kind of Normal, you can read more about my journey with chronic illness and check out these chronic illness resources!
WHat an incredible story! I’ll definitely be following you, and Abby is such a treasure. My heart aches for you about Mia… but you wouldn’t have Abby then.
You reached out to me on Twitter (prob. from 31 day BBB thingy); glad you did!
I found you through the #31DBBB tag on Twitter. What a story you have to tell!
I’m crying because I could not imagine the pain you went through having Mia’s papers revoked and having her taken away from you. I’m so glad Abby found her way into your life! She is so adorable.
I’m definitely sticking around here; so glad to have found you!
Thank you for visiting and your kind words! While Mia is still in our hearts, Abby is a blessing to great for words!
I found you through the Invisible Illness week and I am so glad that I did!
I also found you through the Invisible Illness week by way of the CEC on Facebook. It is so wonderful to have the technology available to be able to share our stories. I too am 26 years old and suffering from Endo since age 12. I will be having a total hysterectomy next month. I also was unable to have children. My heart breaks but I too have strong faith that one day I will have a child. Thank you for telling your story! Although I wouldn’t wish this disease on anyone (nonetheless the other diseases you are battling) it does helping knowing I am not alone! Congratulations on the start of your family!
I am so glad that you found me! I am sorry about your hysterectomy next month. It is no fun at all but I wish you a speedy recovery and pain-free days ahead!
Happy SITSday!
Your daughter is beautiful and you make the loveliest family!
I feel your pain- in all aspects- of the endometriosis trials and frustrations. I had it really bad, along with adhesions and cystic ovaries… I suffered for years and years and years… finally had the hysterectomy- everything out! the summer I was 39. I had put it off for over 10 years but I couldn’t stand the pain any longer so…
when it was all said and done it seems I had 3 kinds of cancerous preliminary cells in 3 different places and I was lucky I decided to go ahead with the surgery then instead of waiting 6 more months until I was ’40’.
I did manage to have 6 children over 18 years- suffering with multiple health issues all the while… even when I was told I could not have anymore- that it just was not possible.
I truly understand what you dealt with and as a mom… what you are dealing with every day!
God Bless and enjoy YOUR DAY!
Dropping by from SITS. I love your blog and am a new follower. I also have fibromyalgia as well as several other invisible issues. I had a total hysterectomy back IN February due to torsion of the right ovary and I have a lot to share about that experience. Come check my blog out and lets see if we can help each other out. Congrats on your day!
Looking forward to reading more. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!
what a beautiful family, I can not imagine adoption and the heartaches that sometimes come as a result but I’m super happy with the joys and love it brings to so many. She and your family are simply beautiful!
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement! Our adoption journey was difficult but I wouldn’t trade a bit of it for anything in the world as Abby is a greater blessing than I could have ever dreamed of!
Okay, first I saw the pic of you and your husband kissing the baby on the SITS post page, then again on this page, and BOTH TIMES I got goosebumps. So adorable, I’m so glad you were able to adopt. Two of my siblings are adopted so I know what a gift it is. And way to go on the weight loss!! Awesome. I’m more at the “starting weight” end of things haha…but I ALWAYS love a good success story!
Your daughter is beautiful!!!!
We share the celiac disease headache!
You are so amazing and your story is inspiring!
I’m finally popping over from the SITS Girls website. I want to say I am so sorry about your infertility problems. I have been fortunate to have four wonderful children.
However, life can suck in so many ways. I have had to bury way too many of my family members, many at a young age, including my brother who was killed by a drunk driver at age 37.
And as a result of the emotional trauma of my brother’s death I developed a chronic illness. You can call it Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if you want, I just try to deal with it and ignore it as much as I can. I hate it. And by the way, I take WAY more supplements than you do so don’t feel bad! Without them I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed.
Congratulations on your weight loss! You are truly an overcomer. I too have worked to lose weight that I gained from being on steroids for five months (gained 25 pounds) and then having a baby at 40 (another 35 pounds). I’ve lost all that weight and I’m trying to get rid of another ten.
Great job on this challenge!! I’m kinda in maintenance too and it’s sooooo hard!! We actually have similar stats as I started in the high 160s and am in the high 120s. Anyways, happy holidays!
I saw your blog button posted at The Journey Leads Home (which I recently discovered and love) and knew I just had to check out your blog! I am so sorry to hear that you lost Mia. That is heartbreaking! But, congratulations on your adoption of Abby. I love your first family photo! What a blessing! I am following your blog and look forward to reading more!
I ran across your blog from a facebook posting. I am so glad to have found you and thank you for this blog. I too suffer from infertility due to endometriosis and have TMDD, IBS, and asthma (fibromyalgia suspected and waiting to see a rheumatologist). I became a mom on Sept 1, 2010 to a beautiful brown princess. So, now i am a mom with chronic illness and a transracial family.
So glad to find another mom out there just like me in so many ways. God is soo good!
I am so glad that you found me! We really do have a lot in common 🙂 Look forward to chatting with you more!
Jamee
Love your blog. Enough said 🙂
Congratulations on adopting your beautiful little girl. I have lupus and fibromyalgia. Check out my health blog Chronic Chick Talk
Glad to find you. We have two daughters (4 & 7) and in between lost a baby to a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks, which caused 5 surgeries and chronic pelvic pain. Last year I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis, so now have chronic illness too. Wish you the best!
Our stories have so very much in common. My heart aches for you in the loss of Mia. Thrilled to read of Abby’s finalization! (Love that Abby means “my father’s joy”.) 🙂
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