chronic illness

An Update From 518

I am back in the hospital. I met with my surgeon yesterday morning and he sent me for a CT scan which ended up showing a partial bowel obstruction so I was admitted right away. Thankfully this morning’s X-ray showed that it was starting to clear but the more crucial question is why its happening. The blockage was at the same spot where Dr Y reconnected my bowels. He thinks there is a problem with the seam so more testing is to come. He said its really rare to have a complication like this and I just had to laugh since that has seemed to be my life lately. As of the morning, he is estimating at least another 2-4 days. Now how to figure out how to fight the cabin fever! I’ll keep you all updated!

chronic illnessfaith

Small Step Back & A Renewed Outlook

I’m at home today on surgeon’s office orders. Yesterday I had a sudden resurgence of pain that was very similar to the pain that alerted me to my bowel obstruction. It wasn’t as constant as the day I went to the ER but when the pain hit it took your breath away.

I came home to rest hoping the pain would subside but when vomiting joined the party, I became very worried. I called my surgeon’s office first thing this morning and his assistant has me coming in first thing tomorrow (he was out of the office today) and my visit may likely include labs and/or a CAT scan. If things get worse, I am ordered to go to the ER but as of now, I’m ordered to rest and go on a liquids only diet.

It is so hard not to panic and jump to the worse case scenario. I’m trying to stay pulled together.

Thankfully yesterday afternoon I came across a post written by my wonderful friend C.C. which introduced me to Sara’s Story. Talk about a change in perspective. The video is about 30 minutes but it is worth every single minute. Turn off twitter. Turn off TV. Close my blog page even. Your life will be changed.

As I wiped the million tears, my first thought went to my blog tagline, “Choose hope in spite of chronic illness.” The past couple weeks I’ve had a hard time making that choice. I’ve tried to put on a good front but in my heart I know I have not been there. After listening to Sara’s story, I was totally convicted and have felt a new rededication to working each and every day to choose hope.

I have so many amazing things to be thankful for and I truly am blessed to have such an amazing family, friends, and community. Yes, chronic illness sucks. Plain and simple. However, I have so many other positive things that I can focus on.

Can I be thankful for a possible hiccup in my recovery if it renews my faith and hope? Absolutely.

chronic illness

Pulling It Together

Today marks 6 weeks since my surgery.

SIX WEEKS.

On one hand, it feels like forever since I have been at work and had a shred of a “normal” life. On the other hand, it feels like yesterday that I was discharged from the hospital.

So I’ve decided the next six weeks are going to be spent pulling it together. At home, at work, my family, myself, everything. As I laid in bed last night thinking about┬ásome of the things that I want to accomplish and honestly I’m feeling a little apprehensive, but more excited.

I’m ready to find my new normal after this experience as it wasn’t just surgery this time. Things could have gotten really nasty. I wonder what would have happened had I not made myself leave work to go to the ER.At the time of my surgery gangrene was already spreading through my abdominal cavity. What if I waited?

In addition to the “what ifs,” I also find myself worrying with every pinch and pull that another obstruction is forming. One study that I read on the long-term prognosis after an adhesive small bowel obstruction stated the recurrence rate┬ácan be as high as 50% within five years. I am 30 years old and have now had 6 abdominal surgeries in 8 years. Those stats honestly scares the snot out of me.

Because of the recent events, I need to get a grip and find a way to push forward and create a new normal that understands this information but also creates a positive life where I can enjoy my family and my life.

So these next six weeks are going to be spent pulling it together. I go back to work tomorrow so I don’t want to start with any of the heavier stuff considering I’m not sure how much energy I’ll have left after work. So I’ve decided I’m going to start with something fun.

One of the things I want to pull together is my beauty routine. After six weeks in a mumu, I’m looking forward to make-up and styling my hair in something besides a ponytail so I’m going to be actually trying some of the many tutorials I have pinned on Pinterest and will be sharing how everything goes!

Cheers to starting the week excited!