chronic illness

My Post-Op Lifesavers

This recovery has been tough. I know the recovery from my hysterectomy was rough too and it definitely took a full 6 weeks to remotely feel normal but it seems like my brain has forgotten the details of that recovery making this one feel worse even though the two are probably very similar. No organs were removed this go round but there was still a lot of internal work done. I promise to have ANKON back to some type of normalcy soon!


As I’m just over two weeks post-op, I thought that I would share 3 of my lifesavers these past 2 weeks:


1- My icepack. My incision is in a rather uncomfortable spot so my ice pack has been totally been my BFF during recovery. Seriously I would marry the thing if I could. I use the ThermiPaq Hot & Cold Pack and cannot say enough good things about it. I’ve only used it for cold therapy so I can’t say how it does how but if it works half as good hot as it does cold, it would be amazing. The pack is made with a clay-based material and it reaches it optimal cold level within an hour which is really convenient. It molds really well to my body too so that is also a bonus. If you are in the market for a cold/hot pack, I recommend checking this one out.

2- My Tablet. Our new tablet came in just in time for my surgery! We had been trying to decide whether to replace our laptop with another laptop or a tablet. After going back and forth and doing a lot of research, we went with the Acer Iconia tablet! Our personal laptop is Acer and has done really well over the years so we trusted the brand for the tablet as well. All in all, we love it! It is so easy to use. I love not having to lug out the laptop to surf the net or hang out on Twitter. Since its on the android platform, we have access to tons of apps. Abby loves playing with Talking Tom! I’m not too good at the technical side of things so I will send you to my friend over at PepperScraps for a great vlog on the tablet!


3-Scrambled Eggs. Seriously, I’m not kidding. My appetite is still a little so-so so I could easily live on cereal but if I don’t get enough protein, I end up with a migraine so eggs are the perfect solution for me during recovery. Let me just say that my husband has become quite a cook which it comes to making me eggs. They are perfect. He should open up his own place that serves just scrambled eggs. Yum. Now I’m hungry!


If you are a surgery veteran, what were your lifesavers post-op?


p.s. I have an AWESOME giveaway coming up on Thursday! I am so excited!

chronic illnessinfertility

Infertle vs Sterile

Once you cross the bridge into the world of infertility you can never go back. It is almost as if you are marked with the letters IF using a hot brand. Time may pass and the wound may begin to heal. The scar may even start to fade a little but it is always there.

There seems to be this idea out there that once you become a parent whether through medical intervention, adoption, or a miracle pregnancy that your IF memory becomes erased  and almost invalid. I have had people question why parts of my story still make me sad now that I have Abby. It is true that I may not think about it as much now or that the sting might not go so deep these days but the reality is the infertility is still a part of my life. It is a part of the journey that led me to Abby. It is a real and devastating loss that I am still grieving. It is a part of me. It has shaped me into the person I am today – both in good and bad ways.

As I laid in bed tonight with all my thoughts swirling about infertility, I laid my hand gently on my lower abdomen and had a realization. The scar upon which I rested my hand made me no longer infertile but sterile. And not two weeks ago but three years ago. I have shared the pain of signing the paperwork before my hysterectomy and have always known since then that i was sterile but never owned it. When people would ask about pregnancy (after all, it is a normal part of life for most women my age), I would make jokes like “only if the doctor accidentally left something behind” or “maybe I’m a starfish and regrow it.”

But tonight as I lay in the dark with my husband asleep next to me and Charlie snoring on the floor, I am owning the fact that I am sterile. No amount of perfect timing or medical invention would allow me to become pregnant and carry a child. As a 29 year old it is a hard pill to swallow especially in the light of my recent surgery. While I knew that a hysterectomy was not a cure for endo, I at least held onto hope that it would resolve most of my pain and I would not find myself in the OR due to endo again.

This last surgery has made me question whether or not a hysterectomy was a good call.

What if I had held out a little longer?

What if we had tried one more treatment?

Could I have gotten pregnant?

While we have pretty good solid hypothesis about the fate of my fertility with my case of Endometriosis, it is nothing but a guess. Educated, yes, but still a guess.

The reality is that I will honestly never know. The title of “sterile” comes with its questions as well as a sense of emptiness that even my immense and irreplaceable love for my daughter cannot fill. I still feel a part of me is missing and it is something that I find difficult to explain in words.

Note:  I would not trade my family for anything and would walk the same path 1000 times for Abby. This is just a loss in my story that is very real and one in which I am trying to grieve. I share this in order to be as real as possible about my experience with chronic illness and infertility.


chronic stylejust for fun

Favorite Fall Fashions for 2011

I won’t be linking up with What I Wore Wednesdays this week as I am sure that you guys don’t want to see pictures of my extremely fashionable nightshirts since that is all I have worn since getting home from the hospital. Oh and the unkempt hair and glasses make me super-hot so I would hate to make you all jealous of my killer style.


You can stop laughing now!

The cooler temperatures this week have kept me window shopping online for new fall styles (who knew that August would turn out to be cooler than July here in NC?). So I thought I would share with you six fall items I would love to add to my closet!

yellow old navy peacot1. Wool Peacoat

It will be a little while before its cold enough to wear this but it is a classic staple for any wardrobe and I love the pop of color! I have this really weird thing about mixing black and brown in any fashion so its important for me to have a coat that I can wear with both!

2. Military Inspired Jacket

I love completing a look with a jacket and this one is a great alternative to a regular blazer!

old navy flare jeans

3. Flared Leg Jeans

You can never underestimate the power of a good pair of jeans and you’ll find no one happier than me that the skinny jean trend has been replaced with flares! LOVE!

old navy cords

4. Cords

Another pants trend I am extremely excited about! I loved cords back in the day so I am really glad that they have made a reappearance in stores and they will definitely be making a reappearance in my closet.

old navy cable sweater

5. Sweaters

Ok, there is absolutely nothing glamorous about this sweater but I love it. Sometimes the best outfits are built with simple pieces – a cozy sweater, a favorite pair of jeans, and some great boots. Speaking of great boots:

madden girl boots6. A Great Pair of Boots

I have never ever owned a pair of knee-high boots even though I’ve been drooling over them for the past several fall season so I think it may finally be time to add a pair to my shoe collection.

What fashion finds have you been drooling over for fall?

p.s. I realize that just about all of my fashion finds are found at Old Navy (or similar retailer) and I much as I love to drool over more fashionable, high-priced designer items, I figure I may as well not kid myself and only drool within my means 🙂