I was asked on Tuesday, “What do you hope for most: today, tomorrow, or long-term?” I sat and pondered this question for quite awhile as I shared in yesterday’s post. But even after responded, the question remained in my thoughts. As I sat in the doctor’s office yesterday afternoon, my mind was flooded with thoughts.
It has been quite an emotional week for me. Tuesday I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom at work crying after hearing about a coworker being devastated at the thought of being pregnant. I cried over my frustration with fibromyalgia that it hurt to style my hair because my joints were throbbing so bad. I hated myself for laying down to take a nap Monday evening but not waking up until the next morning and missing out on spending the evening with John, Abby, and my mom. This week was just one of those week’s where I could give chronic illness the middle finger and move on. But of course, I am a lady and would never do such a thing (ha!).
So as I sat in the room at the doctor’s office, I asked myself, “Where does my hope rest really?” Does it rest on whether or not my doctor finds something on the ultrasound I am getting ready to have? Does it rest on the forecast for lower humidity for the weekend? Does it rest on Abby finally cutting that last molar and sleeping through the night?
Of course my answer should be “My hope rests in Christ.” It’s easy to say that. Every Sunday morning we say some variation of the same statement and work really hard to make sure others believe us. We may even do a pretty good job of convincing ourselves of that too.
Don’t get me wrong, my love and passion for Christ go to the deepest depths of my heart and soul and my faith is solid. My everything rests in God and His unending grace and mercy. But I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t a daily struggle to keep my focus and hope in the correct place. So each day I have a choice. I can pick up my cross and follow Him which often requires trusting in the things unseen. That is the definition of hope. Each day I can choose to step up to the ledge, stretch out my arms, and fall back knowing He will always be there to catch me.
So today I choose hope for today, tomorrow, and eternity.
